Page 98 of Endless Depths

Wes laughs. “No, I was not.”

“Did you hear him too?” I ask Wes.

“I was asleep.”

“I saw Seb,” Lawrence says. “It was creepy as fuck. We were all out here working, and Seb walked to the rail and looked down at the ocean. None of you noticed. I almost asked if you could see him too, but he vanished.”

“Wow. Thanks for that horrifying image,” Javi says.

“Don’t worry. If you get scared, you can sleep with me.” He blows him an air-kiss.

“Maybe that’s who I saw then,” I say. “Sebwouldmake the most sense.”

“Or maybe you did see Cole,” Wes says. “We’re all trying to process what happened, and this stuff comes out when we’re dreaming, or when we’re tired as hell.”

The intercom clicks on. I jump. Alejo drops his crab.

“Next pot’s coming up,” Cole says. “Make sure you don’t step on the crab that escaped while you told ghost stories.”

“Asshole,” Lawrence mutters, scooping up two runaways. “Do you have any stories to add?”

Cole laughs. “Luckily, no. Sometimes I feel him here, but it’s not like with my dad. It’s an echo of the good times we had.” His sigh snuffles over the speaker. “Whatever youguys think you’re seeing or hearing isn’t Seb. He took care of us. He’d never lead us toward the rail. This is my fault.”

Lawrence snorts. “You’re our captain, but you’re not in charge of our hallucinations.”

“I know. It’s just… We never talked about what happened as a crew. We bottled it up, and that’s my fault. But grief doesn’t fade, it goes dormant, and it always finds a way out. Maybe that’s why you guys feel like Seb is still here. I’m sorry I haven’t been there, but I’m here now, and I promise to listen.”

“You had your hands full,” Lawrence says.

Javi rolls his eyes. “We’ve all had our hands full.”

I get it. Cole’s abandonment hurts. It’s hard to trust that he won’t hurt us again. It’s hard to trust anything he says because he’s made himself a stranger to all of us. I still have my guard up, especially for Finn, and the guys haven’t heard half the apologies I have.

“I think we should work in twos from now on, just to be safe,” Cole continues. “No more solo nights at the wheel, no one alone on deck for a single second.”

The weather forcesus inside a few hours later. We still have twenty pots to haul, but we haven’t had much downtime, and we could all use it. After a quick weld job, I head to the wheelhouse.

“Hey there, Sunshine.” I gently squeeze his shoulders, tug the hood of the sweatshirt he stole from me down, and kiss his cheek. “Miss me?”

He exhales, some of the tension in his shoulders relaxing, then takes my hand and kisses it, keeping his gaze on the mammoth waves stacking in front of us. “I hate watching you down there when the seasare this high.”

“I know. It’s hard as fuck, but you keep me safe, even from up here. You called us in.”

“Maybe I only did that because I wanted to see you.”

I lean closer and rest my chin on his shoulder. “Mm. You smell so good.” I nuzzle my nose into his neck and kiss him.

“That tickles.” Cole laughs. “Stop distracting me.”

“I can’t help it.” I really can’t. I have the biggest crush on my husband. The need to be close to him, to show him all the love he didn’t let me give him, is so strong after the months we spent apart.

“You okay?” I ask. “That whole ghost story discussion was heavy.”

“It didn’t bother me. The Seb in my dream saved you. I feel like shit that they’re all struggling to the point of seeing things, though. I haven’t been around to talk with them about it. I should have known how hard coming back here would be. Not just for you and me. Seb belonged to all of us.”

He navigatesBriarup and over another wave. I grip the chair to steady myself as we crash back down. I don’t miss Cole’s hiss of pain.

“Here, let me take over. Go rest, and give your tailbone a break.”