I lay down back beside her and pull her to my chest as we both just feel content and relaxed in each other’s arms.
She makes me feel things I promised myself I wouldn’t let myself feel again. She is tearing down those walls that I carefully built to protect myself from having my heart broken again.
I’m beginning to let them in, and that’s the scariest part.
How can you let someone into a place that can cause you hurt when you have been burned so badly before?
Ana
This date was perfect. Spending time like this with Ice, and getting to know him on a deeper level, makes me fall for him even more than I had before.
I can still sense some hesitation from him, like he’s holding back for some reason. I hope he’s not regretting the decision to be with Maverick and me.
Still, I can’t bring myself to ask him because what if it’s not what I hope to hear?
After he holds me for a bit longer, we head back home.
As much fun as I had on our date, and getting to spend one on one time with Ice, I still can’t wait to see Maverick.
He’s become the man I thought was long gone, but also, he has become so much more than even the man I loved before.
He’s not the grumpy man he turned into when he would barely talk to anyone.
Maverick has also been at home a lot more and has been constantly working on anything in the home that was missed during renovations.
A few nights ago, he made supper when I was sick all day and couldn’t get out of bed.
I’m starting to feel hopeful that all of this change is permanent.
My heart is still wary that this is just a show. How can I get over everything he has put me through?
These last couple months of acting the way he does doesn’t instantly change everything.
What about all the nights I spent alone and crying at night?
Or the days I didn’t want to get out of bed?
How do you move on from something that has been your normal for so long?
How can I trust him with my heart again and be sure that he won’t break it this time?
We are both healing and the trust doesn’t come so easily this time. I know how quickly it could all change.
I just wish there was a way to know it was different this time.
Could I really let myself fall for not only my husband, but Ice too?
The thoughts don’t stop swirling around in my head the whole way home.
I’m broken out of them when we stop in front of the house. Ice turns to me with a serious look on his face.
“What’s going on, baby?” he asks, giving me his full attention.
“Just everything. I just feel so happy for the first time in a long time, and I can’t help but worry it’s too good to be true,” I tell him honestly.
“I know that feeling better than you think,” he tells me.
“It feels like every time I got a little too happy, something would come along to mess it up,” I whisper.
