‘I can’t; it’s too much.’
‘You’re right,’ he says dryly. ‘It would be so unfair of you to crash in a room I’m not using in a place I’m not even paying for.’
I bite my lip in thought. I met himyesterday– this is a real-world example of ‘stranger danger’ playing out right in front of me.
‘Are you sure?’ I ask.
No. That was meant to be a ‘no’. I had every intention for the word ‘no’ to leave my mouth. And then out came a question. A really imposing question.
‘Of course I’m sure.’ He waves his hand. ‘It was boring being here all by myself anyway.’
I’ve known him for a day. Not even a whole day – an afternoon and night. A night where I came back here because I had no real other option. But today I do – there are enough apps and websites around that I could find somewhere new within an hour if I really wanted. And, yes, it would be a cash loss, especially since my last place was non-refundable, but I’ll get paid eventually. It’s got to be safer than staying with a stranger.
‘I could be a serial killer,’ I say.
‘Are you?’ he asks plainly.
‘No. Are you?’
He laughs. ‘No. So that’s that sorted, then. Will you stay?’
So, I’m not inphysicaldanger, sure. I do believe Noah is most likely harmless. But there is still a real threat... I feel it burn inside me every time I cast my mind back to what we almost did last night. I barely managed to separate myself from him then; it took every ounce of self-restraint I had. Now I’m depleted. If something else were to happen, I don’t know if I could be the bigger person and resist. And if the two of us continue to live under the same roof, I am putting myself in a very treacherous position.
‘It’s not a good idea,’ I say.
‘Why?’ he asks. ‘My place not up to your clearly very high standards?’
I roll my eyes and he smirks at me.
‘I don’t see what the issue is. It’s super central, you save on rental costs and – like you said – it’s safer.’
I think about leaving – walking out that door and once again being alone. My chest grows tighter as I run through a slew of gruesome possibilities.
‘But what about after?’ I ask before my brain can stop me.
His eyebrows knit in confusion. ‘What do you mean “after”?’
‘After the three days – after you leave Brussels,’ I fret, trying to steady my breaths once more. ‘You’ve promised three days of safety, sure, but then you go and I’m alone all over again.’
I imagine my face on the news and Sara and Paige’s tears as we lose yet another member of our family. Sara spent years piecing us all back together after we lost Mum so suddenly. She stepped up when no one else could and she was only sixteen. I feel like she’s only properly started living for herself over the last three years and even so, I still live with her. I can’t reset her progressagain. The whole thing overwhelms my brain so much that it starts to darken with the thoughts.
‘You were always gonna be alone – you’re solo travelling.’ He tries his best to reassure me.
It doesn’t work. I grow dizzy, my face drooping in panic.
‘I can’t do this.’
‘Yes, you can!’
He shuffles closer. I feel his fingers flutter hesitantly as they make contact with my skin, grazing it lightly in fear before deciding to commit.
‘Look how far you’ve got already!’ His grip grows tighter. ‘I mean, it takes a certain type of bravery to accost a stranger for a date in broad daylight.’
My eyes dart up on instinct. ‘When I asked you for coffee, it was not . . . I didn’t . . . You just assumed that . . .’
My words jumble and I feel my face scrunch up at the insinuation, but when I look back at him, he’s grinning deviously.
‘Thereyou are,’ he says fondly. ‘All it took was a little riling up.’
