Page 28 of Freeze Frame

“It was Jax. Jax is the son. I slept with Jax’s dad.”

Asher was as quiet and still as a corpse, and I worried that I’d killed him with surprise, and then he let out a slow breath.

“No shit?”

“No shit.”

And then… Asher laughed. “You boned Jax’s dad? That’s amazing. He’s hot, right? It’s nice to know that Jax is going to be as hot as sin like his dad when he gets older.”

I pried myself out of Asher’s arms and sat up on the opposite end of the couch. “I wish you’d take this seriously.” I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them.

“Oh, River, I’m sorry. It’s just… Jax came home the other day in a really good mood. He clearly thought something was hilarious because he kept laughing, but he wouldn’t tell Blue and me what it was. He swore he would if it was our business, but it wasn’t even his business, he said. But it was obvious that he was happy about something.”

“Happy? I fucked his dad. Jax and I… we’ve worked together. Why would he be okay with me hooking up with his dad?”

Asher looked at me like I was born yesterday. “Maybe because he loves his dad. Seriously, those two are more like best friends than father and son. You just don’t know that because you’ve never seen them interact before. If Jax is happy, it’s because his dad was happy. Easy math.”

It almost made it worse to know that they were more than father and son. They were best friends. If I was the cause of a rift between them, I’d never forgive myself. How could I when I’d already destroyed my own family? The last thing I wanted was to ruin someone else's too.

“But Jax and I have had sex.”

Asher rolled his eyes. “River, that was before I even started working here. If it happened when I was still a teenager, it doesn’t count. That’s the law.”

“Whose law?”

“Mine. The universe’s. Take your pick. So you had sex. Were feelings involved?”

I shook my head. “No, it was work.”

“There you go. You worked with his son once, years ago. If they don’t mind, why should you? Like, I don’t know Jax’s dad as well as Jax does, obviously, but if he’s okay with his son making porn, and his son’s boyfriends making porn, why would he be upset that you’ve made porn?”

Asher kept coming at me with logic, but all I could hold on to was my fear. I still remembered the way it felt when my family fractured. The crushing loneliness that came after. The knowledge that I’d ruined something just by existing had been a lot to bear.

I had to do something to move on from David, that much was clear to me. I wouldn’t be the reason for friction between father and son.

“Who’s available to shoot with soon?” I asked Asher. “I haven’t done a scene in a while, and my bank account could use a boost.”

My bank account was fine. I hadn’t done a scene in a while because I hadn’t needed—or wanted—to. But maybe if I dove back into being in front of the camera, David would naturally lose interest in me, and I wouldn’t have to worry about causing problems between father and son. On the surface, Jax seemed okay with it, but right now he was distracted by his own blossoming relationship. What would happen when or if Jax had more time to think about it?

Though, who was I kidding? I wasn’t important enough to Jax to cause a problem with him and his dad. That thought was less helpful than I’d anticipated.

Asher narrowed his gaze at me. “You know Lukas makes the matches, right? And you know that he’s going to want to know why you suddenly showed up here, haven’t left in half a week, and now are desperate for a scene. He’ll know you’re running from something.”

“He’s not some omnipotent god. He doesn’t know everything.”

“He knows enough. He knows you.” Asher slid closer and leaned his head on my shoulder. “And I know you. We’re family, River. Until Jax and Blue, this place, Lukas, you, the rest of the guys, you’re all I had. And when I thought I was in love with Lukas, I made stupid decisions that almost cost me dearly. I thought for sure Lukas would want nothing to do with me. But he’s Lukas. He’s the softest person I know. He’s got a huge heart. We’re a family, River. You, me, Lukas, everyone. Don’t make us let you do something you might not want to actually do.”

I let Asher use me for a pillow. Eventually he reached for my hand and twined our fingers together. Ever since he’d partnered up with Jax and Blue, he’d been more casually affectionate withother people. It must be Blue rubbing off on him. Blue had always been like that.

“And if I actually want to do it?” I asked, still not sure if I was serious about it or not.

He let out a sigh. “Then we’ll stand by you like a family is supposed to do.”

Asher made some pretty good arguments, even if I wouldn’t admit it to him. “How are your kittens?” I asked, blatantly changing the subject. Asher let me because… kittens.

“They’re so big now.” He pulled his phone out and looking at his cat pictures turned into watching cat videos on the internet for the next hour. By the time he had to get up and leave, I still hadn’t decided what to do, but at least I felt a little less alone.

Now I just had to decide what I was going to do next so I could respond to David’s voicemail and let him know one way or the other. Was I in? Or was I out?