Page 52 of Freeze Frame

“I think Mickey would love to meet a guy who is dating another old fart. He’s the youngest among my kids and their partners, and I’m the oldest, obviously. If you think your boyfriend wouldn’t mind knowing another guy who was into the older generation, bring him by.” Ethan winced. “Sorry, was thattoo much?” He rubbed at the back of his neck. “I just worry sometimes that he doesn’t know anyone who gets it.”

“Well, he’s not the only one who doesn’t know anyone who gets it.” I gently snapped the lid on my coffee.

“You should come for breakfast Monday,” Ethan said again. “Hang out with a couple of people who get it. Just think about it.”

“I will,” I promised without knowing if there was even going to be an us come Monday. If it came down to Josh having to choose between his sister and me, I wasn’t going to let him choose me.

Josh’s family had already written him off, all except for his sister. I wasn’t going to be the reason for there to be a rift between them. He could find other men to love him, but he only had one sister.

I climbed into my car feeling every year of my life heavy on my bones. I put the coffee in the cup holder and opened the container for Wally. I broke the burger patty into smaller pieces and fed them to him one at a time, petting him and telling him how good he was. And finally, when he was done, I drove home.

I’d turned my phone off when I left Josh’s, and I didn’t feel like turning it back on yet. Maybe I would in the morning. Maybe I wouldn’t. There was a large part of me that wanted to crawl under the blankets and not come out for a long time.

Even if I’d been able to do that, which I couldn't because I had Wally to think about, the presence of a familiar car in my driveway made that an impossibility. I pulled in beside the car and got out.

Sitting on my front steps, with Nitro in his arms, was Josh. He looked like a ghost. He was so pale. His eyes were red-rimmed and puffy. He’d obviously been crying. I hated myself for contributing to that.

He stood when I approached and set Nitro down. Wally, none the wiser to any tension, greeted Nitro with his typical wiggly body.

“I was worried about you.” Josh sounded small and sad and a little broken.

“Sorry. I—sorry.” I didn’t know that I could explain why I left or what I was thinking or feeling when I did. I wasn’t even sure I was ready for this conversation, but there was no way to get out of it now. “Did you want to come in?”

“Did I—of course, I want to come in. David.” Josh sighed and reached for me. His hand was cold on my skin. “There’s a lot I need to say to you, and I don’t want to do it out here.”

I nodded, trying to hide the way my heart was breaking. There was no way this wasn’t going to be anit’s not you, it’s meconversation. I wouldn’t blame him for choosing his family over me. I was just some old guy who’d had a bit of a delusional spell when he thought he’d found the one. And maybe I had, but that didn’t mean I’d get to keep him.

Josh, Nitro, and Wally followed me inside. Josh took one look at the state of my kitchen, something I’d forgotten about until just now, and he stopped dead in his tracks.

“I was cooking when Wally got into the chocolate muffins,” I said to explain the pots and pans on the stove. The food strewn around the counter. An onion, half chopped, sat on the cutting board. “I kind of forgot about the mess.”

“David, there’s something I need to tell you.”

Josh reached for me, and I let him take my hand because I was weak and wanted his comfort even when I knew he was just trying to soften the blow.

I took a deep breath and tried to reassure him, but at the same time I spoke, so did he.

“I understand,” I said.

“I’m in love with you,” Josh said.

Time stopped. I think my heart did too. I know I wasn’t breathing anymore.

“You what?”

“I love you.” Josh stepped closer. His free hand cupped the side of my face, making me feel small and precious. Treasured. “I’m sorry about Violet. She’s… a terror of a person sometimes. I’m assuming you heard some of what she said.”

I nodded, unable to speak. The words I wanted to say were stuck in my throat. Josh loved me, and I wanted that to be enough. I wanted love to fix the way I felt, but I was still scared and sad and maybe a little angry at Violet. And then I realized I wasn’t even angry about what she said, but at the way she’d barged in and acted like she had any right to say it at all.

“I heard enough.”

“Her opinion doesn’t matter. Hell, that’s not even her real opinion. She’s just a shoot first kind of person. She can be overbearing, and it’s been an issue between us for a while now. Admittedly, I haven’t done enough to stop her from acting like this. But I’m going to because you’re important to me.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t leave a note when I left. I hadn’t planned to leave and then I was halfway to my car.”

“You could have at least left your phone on,” Josh chided, softening the rebuke with a kiss to my cheek. “Where did you go? I came straight here, but you weren’t here obviously.”

“I drove around for a while.” I kept the part about stopping at the diner to myself for now. I’d tell him later, if there was a later. “I was worried you were going to break up with me.”