Page 69 of Freeze Frame

He stopped and raised an eyebrow at me.

“Okay, I was going to say that I feel the same way about meeting you. All this time you’ve been right under my nose, and I didn’t know you existed.”

He quickly glanced around, then dropped a kiss against my lips. “You’re too sweet.”

“Is that a bad thing?” I asked with a laugh, to which Josh gave me a saucy look.

“It is when all I’ve been able to think about is getting inside you. It makes me feel sort of guilty for the way I want to destroy you.”

I bit back a groan. “That has no business sounding hot. You want to destroy me, which sounds a bit violent, but I don’t care. It’s probably the lack of blood and oxygen getting to my brain.”

“We could get out of here if you wanted.”

Josh had barely finished his sentence, and I’d turned around and headed for the entrance. Holding tight to his hand, I practically dragged him with me, Josh laughing the whole way. I couldn’t help it, though. He made me feel young. Alive. Wanted.

My body would never keep up with his, but we found ways to compensate. At one point, Josh said it helped that I wasn’t a neanderthal who was only interested in his own pleasure. Making him feel good made me feel good. I loved finding new ways to make him tremble and quake. It made me feel powerful to know that I was the one Josh had chosen out of all the people he could have had. He argued with me about that, insisting that it wasn’t a very big number. But I disagreed. He didn’t see himself the way I saw him. He didn’t see how vibrant he was or how strong. How good. How he was everything.

Okay, maybe he wasn’t the only one who was biased. But I was head over heels in love with him, and I was allowed to have an inflated opinion of him—his words—if I wanted.

When we arrived back at my place, Josh let me take care of the dogs and he disappeared off to our bedroom to getsomething ready. Some of Josh’s things had migrated here from his place to the point that he had a drawer in my dresser for his clothes and another for his toys. Both ones I’d bought and ones he’d brought from his apartment.

He had a toothbrush by the bathroom sink and a loofah in the shower. He had his own towel, his own key, and I’d cleared out the spare room and put a desk in there so he had a place to work if he wanted. Once he moved in. Which would be soon. His lease was up in a few months, but I wanted him here today, tomorrow, and always.

I let the dogs outside and waited for them to do their business before calling them back in. Sometimes they were little cockblocks, and if they felt left out, they’d bark and scratch at the bedroom door. I hoped that they’d leave us alone tonight. I turned the TV on to give them some human voices, in hopes that would help them behave, and after a deep breath, I went down the hall to see what Josh was doing.

When I walked into the bedroom, the first thing I noticed was that the blankets were off the bed and piled nicely on the chair in the corner of the room. There was a large towel down on the sheet, and Josh was half dressed. Naked from the waist up, he was in a pair of low-slung pajama pants that barely covered his pubic bone.

On the nightstand sat an intimidatingly large bottle of lube.

“Don’t look at that. Look at me,” Josh commanded, his voice steady and soothing. Confidence radiated from him and it made me feel better about what we were going to do.

We’d talked about it a lot, and I’d agreed to try it. Fuck, I wanted it. I’m surprised that I didn’t dream about it at night. I’d have let him do it months ago when he first mentioned it, but he said it was something we had to work up to doing. It turned out that you shouldn’t go from zero to fisting without the proper prep. It was no hardship to let Josh stretch me out with hisfingers and his various cocks. But knowing that tonight he was going to stick his hand in my ass had my heart thrashing in my chest.

It felt big. Monumental.

Josh was in front of me, sliding my shirt up my body. I lifted my arms without being asked and let him strip my top half bare.

“You’re okay,” Josh whispered as he tossed my shirt aside.

I thought he might go for my pants next, but he reached for my face instead. Cradling it in his hands, he pulled me to him and when he kissed me, it was like this blanket of comfort and safety was draped over me. Josh wasn’t going to hurt me. He wasn’t going to do anything I didn’t like. His kiss felt like a promise.

I reached for the fly of my jeans, and even with his promises, my fingers shook as I popped the button and tugged the zipper pull.

“Are you okay?” Josh asked as he shoved my pants down.

“Nervous.”

“I’ll look after you.” he said, his expression soft but serious.

“I know.” I stole another kiss, and then stripped myself bare. It was all I could do to get my legs to cooperate, but I managed to get on the bed. I knew from experience that Josh would want me face down, ass up, and I took my time getting comfortable.

He waited patiently, not saying anything as I shifted around and got situated with my legs spread wide and folded in a way that pointed my ass in the air. It seemed like forever had passed before I felt the bed move. The first thing he did was run a hand over my back. His fingers dragged slowly down my spine, and it was like he was trying to calm my shaky nerves with his touch.

It worked. The minute he started to touch me, it was like my body understood what my brain had been trying to tell it. That it was Josh, and we were safe with him. I was still nervous, but the tightness in my chest eased and I was able to take a full breath.It left with a sigh as he continued to explore my body with his hands.

“That’s right, just relax. You’re doing so good,” he said, as if I’d done something remarkable instead of literally just breathing.

He walked his fingers down the crease of my ass. A fingertip gently traced the edge of my hole before slipping lower. The first sound I made was a whimper when he pressed against my taint.