Page 34 of Oakheart

Obsessively, I looked back on that night, afraid I’d pressed him or needed too much or?—

I wasn’t even sure, but I didn’t think I could live with myself if I’d added to his hurt.

My only solace was when I leaned against him or touched his hand, his scent went calm. His heartbeat steadied.

It took months of fixating on his every response for me to really believe that I might help him at all, but once I was sure, it became a fixation. When he’d come by the build site, I’d let my hand brush across his and he’d smile, and my heart skipped thinking that I’d done something right. It didn’t matter how small a thing it was, if I could just make his day a little better.

I didn’t want to push him, not ever, but maybe it was good, to be closer to him in a way that was... not a horrifying violation of his autonomy.

Months passed, and he didn’t talk about it specifically. Viktor made no further comment, and I kept my mouth shut and worked. Evie hung out with us at the build site a lot, but sometimes she disappeared, and she’d come home late at night, smelling a little dank and damp, like she’d found some nearby cave.

Maybe a few of them. I hoped a few.

But she knew it was smart to spread out her scent. I’d taught her everything I could about escape.

Then one night, when Aleks had come in from the river and I was still working on the house late after sending Viktor and Leo home, we were sitting there, his arm around my shoulders and my body turned into his, and he’d kissed me.

I hadn’t done it, hadn’t pushed, but when his lips were on mine every thought in my head blew away. His lips felt so nice, while a warm tingle rushed through my chest. His hands ran under my shirt, he nudged beneath the corner of my jaw to kiss my neck, and I asked if it was okay.

The sound he made still rumbled through me when I thought about it, all need when he lowered me down to the bare floorboards, opened my jeans, and took us both in his enormous hand.

I still didn’t know how he got his hands so soft, but they were magnificent.

After that, we fell into a pattern. If we should have talked before that first time, we definitely should have spoken afterward, but I didn’t know what to say. Aleks was one of the strongest werewolves I knew, and Viktor—I didn’t know much about his past, but sometimes, he gave me the sense that he’d been the sort of man in the movies that would go on a mission and topple a violent regime single handedly in an hour and forty-five flat.

If they couldn’t change things, what the fuck could I do?

So I didn’t ask questions, and we didn’t talk, but I liked having him close and thinking that he wanted me. Ihopedhe wanted me.

I thought he did, but my heart was as twisted up as the rest of me, and we didn’t talk about that either.

That summer, we finished the second house, and Grant wanted to give it to Uncle Tommy. It had two small bedrooms, and when I built it, I’d been thinking of the cabin Pa and I lived in. I didn’t care where I lived all that much, but I wanted his place to be nice.

Uncle Tommy only needed two rooms. One, really, because the new house was a way for Grant to placate him “when Evie moved in with Giselle.”

I found out when I came home from marking out land to build a new “big house” for Grant, who was sick of other people getting new things when he didn’t have them, to find Uncle Tommy sitting at Pa’s table, looking paler than I’d ever seen him.

When I asked what was wrong, Uncle Tommy didn’t answer. He stared at the table, looking like he was going to throw up.

It was Pa who met my eye and answered, “Grant said it’s time for Evie to move in with Giselle.”

“I thought I’d find her here,” Tommy croaked.

“What the fuck?” I demanded. “You’re not going along with this.”

No response.

“Youcan’tlet this happen. Fuck, Tommy, she’s your daughter. She’sfourteen. You cannot possibly?—”

“Cash.” Pa’s voice was sharper than I’d heard it in years. “I’ve got this. You need to let me handle it.”

I scoffed. “And what’ll it cost you this time, your head?”

It was a shitty thing to say, and I knew it. Guilt rushed through me as I stormed out of the house, away from the center of pack lands toward the house I’d built for Katya and her sons.

I wanted Aleks, but to find him, I’d have to risk going to the big house, and if I saw Grant, I was liable to throw myself at him and get myself killed in the process. Marcus was just looking for an excuse.

I banged on the door, and Katya answered, a small, serene smile on her face. It wasn’t until she saw me that her shoulders relaxed, though, and her expression turned normal. Admittedly, I wasn’t the most likely to go banging on anyone’s door like that.