Page 90 of Oakheart

My head popped up, and I frowned down at him. “Like a... mating mark?”

I assumed if we did that, he’d bite me. It certainly wasn’t a given that I’d return it. Most alphas didn’t allow for it, but Jax had.

My heart jackhammered in my chest as I stared down at him, but there was no doubt on his features, no humor, just seriousness and maybe a smattering of nerves.

“Yes,” he said. “You are the one I cannot do this without, my alpha mate. I belong to you.”

I shook my head, and his face fell. Oh fuck, that’s not what I meant.

I cupped his cheek. “You belongwithme,” I said, blinking fast because, well, I’d cried enough for one night, hadn’t I? “Of course I’ll—I’d be honored to—if you’re sure you want—” I sighed, heat rushing into my cheeks. “I’ll bite you if—if you’ll bite me. We mark each other, okay? Our bond belongs to both of us.”

He smiled, and the way his teeth gleamed in the starlight made it seem just wicked enough to send a shiver down my spine. “Yes, good, both of us.”

And he hitched his hand behind my knee and pulled me into his lap.

CHAPTER 44

Aleks

With him.

It was such a change of viewpoint that my brain almost couldn’t handle it.

There was no ownership, only love, and I had no idea what to do with that. In some ways, it felt too tentative, but I knew that was because every member of my extended—not immediate—family was broken, unable to form healthy bonds with other people. My father, my uncle, my grandfather—they had all wanted to own others, so that there was no doubt about abandonment.

The problem with that was that people who found themselves “owned” were rarely going to sit back and accept that, especially when the people trying to own them were awful, controlling, abusive monsters.

It wasn’t certainty, not really. It was only trying to be.

With, though? Belonging together without ownership was something else entirely. Something mutual, with no ownership other than over one’s own behavior.

Even in trying to turn it inside out, to make Cash my new owner, it hadn’t been this version of healthy, rationalattachment. There was no mutuality in ownership. It was one-sided and always turned toxic.

With, though.

I could work with that.

I splayed my fingers across his cheeks, pulling his face toward me and instead of kissing him, just pressed our foreheads together and stayed there a moment. I let it settle into my bones, this perfect, secure feeling of being together without ownership. Without power imbalance.

Just calm, steady Cash sitting in my lap, holding onto me as tightly as I held him.

Yes, I was alpha, but I wasn’t the boss of him in any way. We were equals. We made choices together, and each had the same amount of say in everything.

Finally, I drew in a ragged breath and let my head fall back, meeting his eye. “I... I like this spot,” I whispered. For a moment, he seemed confused, but I motioned around. “Not far from the pack. Close. But not in the middle. Not surrounded by everyone. Not big or flashy or a declaration of power. Of... ownership. Only a little privacy and quiet.”

Cash looked around as though seeing the spot for the first time, then looked back at me, his eyes shining. “I could... we were talking about houses. I could build a small one here. Just for us. It wouldn’t even take long.”

My breath caught in my throat, and suddenly, I couldn’t keep myself still. I had to have him in every way he would allow. I hiked his legs up around my middle, and lay him across the blanket, lowering myself over him.

I went slowly, watching for any hesitation, any stiffening that would say he was uncomfortable, but there was nothing. There were only soft green eyes, looking up at me, filled with hope.

“I love this,” I told him. “Just for us.”

He swallowed hard and glanced away, then quickly back. “We, um, haven’t had a chance to have much just for us before. I mean, you or me either, but... us. Together.”

I knew exactly what he meant. The entirety of “us,” so far, had been stolen moments, quiet looks, and nights where Grant and his cruelty hung over us like some sword of Damocles, waiting to end not only our time together, but our entire lives.

“We have now,” I whispered against his lips. “Tonight. Tomorrow. Forever. Here.”