Mark grabs it without question, and I start crying again.
It’s getting worse and worse these days.
Mark briefly makes eye contact with me and looks away.
I start crying again.
He’s too good to me, and I’m just a hot mess who is gaining weight and can’t even pull myself together to create a baby registry. I fell asleep in the car last night after dinner, and he carried me inside instead of waking me up. Who falls asleep on a ten-minute drive?
“We can finish this online if you want,” Mark suggests.
“No, we’re already here. Let’s do it.”
A woman appears next to me with a baby, sleeping peacefully, cradled in a front carrier.
“Oh, how beautiful,” I say quietly, wiping away the last of the current moment’s tears.
“Thank you. How far along are you?”
“Twenty-nine weeks.”
“It goes so fast, doesn’t it?”
I smile. “Some days.”
“Well, good luck,” she says, grabbing a three pack of zip up pajamas and walking away.
“Everything okay?” Mark asks cautiously.
“Yep. I’m going strong after three minutes of not crying.”
“That’s great.”
“How am I going to do this?” I spin and ask him.
“Like this,” he says and shows me how to scan a barcode.
“No. I mean be a mom. A stable one. I’m physically standing here scanning items for other people to buy me, us. I can’t even do this. How am I supposed to know what to do next? How am I going to work? How am I going to make money? And don’t even think about saying we both have money and don’t need jobs. Doing nothing isn’t okay with me. And I’m not— why are you smiling? I’m practically yelling at you in the diaper section of Target. Smiling is the last thing you should be doing. Argue back or something.”
He reaches for my hand and pulls me in for a hug. It’s the kiss on top of my head that breaks me.
“Hey, don’t cry. I’m only smiling because I have something to share with you. I was going to wait to tell you, but now seems like a good time.”
“If it’s good news, I like now too.”
“After graduation, I want us to stay here. Raise our daughter here.”
Holy shit.
Holy shit!
“Oh my god!” I jump and clap, grinning. “Are you serious? Here in Wyoming.”
“Yeah, I think it’s a great idea.”
“Oh, I love it. So, so much. This is great news.”
“I’m not quite sure what I would do yet, but with you, I know I’ll figure it out. We’ll figure it out.”
