“It is a misunderstanding,” I point out.
“You’re only saying that because I caught you and I basically just told you to say that.”
“Trust me, it’s not.”
“Then what is it?”
“It’s . . . itwasme being smart. If you left, what would I have?”
“So, it was about the money?”
“No.”
“That’s what it sounds like.”
“It wasn’t—”
“Not even twenty-four hours after you found out I’d lose everything, you tried to get rid of me. That sounds pretty much like you just wanted the money.”
“I promise it wasn’t.”
He takes a deep breath and rubs his neck.
“I was about to propose to you,” he says and points to the decor around the room. “Because I fucking thought I was in love with you, but none of it was real, was it?”
“It was all real. It is all real,” I plead and step toward him. “I came back here to tell you I love you and that I—”
“You don’t love me,” he says as if it leaves a bad taste on his tongue.
“Yes, I do.”
“No, you don’t. If you did, you never would have been looking at this.” He points at the paperwork on the table. “You never would have even entertained the idea that I wouldn’t take care of you, Sydney.”
My full name. He hasn’t used it in months. It’s the tipping point for the tears. He goes on before I can say anything else.
“If you loved me, you would have trusted me. You would have known that I’d give anything up for you. Over and over. You would know this is something we could work out. Together.”
“I’m here now. Let’s talk it out.”
“It’s too late,” he shouts and takes a deep breath. “It’s too late, Sydney, you already broke my heart.”
A horn honks outside, and he looks to the front window for a brief moment before moving for the coat rack.
He doesn’t say a word as he leaves.
The look of pure horror on his face now wasn’t just because of the paperwork. It was for the night he had planned and the future he wanted to create with me and I just . . . I should have trusted my heart. June was only trying to look out for me, but I knew better. I knew I could trust him, but I didn’t.
In the moment when I should be crying tears of joy and my heart should be swelling with happiness, the opposite happens. I’m too numb to cry and my heart can’t crack any more than it already is.
What have I done?
Mark
An hour later, and I still can’t get the image of what just happened out of my mind.
I should feel relieved, you know. Like it’s a good thing I learned how she really feels about me before I actually proposed, and she said no.
Is it because I wanted to show her how amazing life could be?
