“The problem is that I let him fall for me before I told him, so it feels like I already took it. The best thing for me to do is leave.”
“Is that what’s best for him or what’s best for you?” Willa asks.
“Both?”
Both friends give me sad smiles as we eat our snacks.
I let out a big sigh. I don’t know what else to say.
“Should we start the new season ofGinny and Georgia?” Greer asks.
Willa and I agree, but even as we sit in silence to watch the show, my mind is racing with what they asked me.
Is my leaving what’s best for him or what’s best for me?
CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE
CALLA
When you live with someone long enough, you memorize their habits and start to predict their next move. The way he lingers in my doorway, pretending to look at the trim, I know he’s pumping himself up to ask me something he knows I don’t want to talk about.
That can be only one thing right now.
Beck.
“Your hovering is putting me on edge. What do you want to say?” I blurt out as I check under the bed to make sure I didn’t forget anything.
Besides the box by my brother’s feet, everything of mine has been moved out of Beck’s house and into either my car or my brother’s.
“I think you might be making a mistake by leaving.”
“I told you what happened, Simon.”
“You also said you forgave him, so what’s the problem?”
I roll my eyes and start to move past him.
“He didn’t die, Calla. He’s right here. Don’t freak out because of what could have happened.”
“That’s not it, trust me, Simon.”
“He makes you hap—”
“Can we not have this conversation now? I need to go. Get away from this house and think, Simon. Please, just help me do that.”
Just because I’m leaving doesn’t mean I’m emotionally ready to let Beck go. Getting away to think may sound silly, but it’s what I need.
I swipe a tear off my cheek, and he nods.
“Okay, yeah, let’s go.”
We make it up the stairs and out the door before Beck catches up to us. I thought I could be faster than him with his leg.
“Calla,” he says softly behind me. “Please don’t go.”
I motion for Simon to go to the car without me.
As soon as I turn around, Beck gets right to it.
