Page 236 of Triplet Babies for my Ex's Best Friend

“That’s not what this is.”

“Isn’t it?”

“No.”

I look at her. “How do you know?”

“Because leaving Bryce’s mess was survival. Leaving Ethan, if you choose to, would be a decision.”

“It doesn’t feel like one.”

“What does it feel like?”

I press a hand to my stomach. “It feels like I’m standing in someone else’s house holding a bomb.”

Luci’s expression softens.

“I don’t know where I fit,” I say. “I’m not his wife. I’m not even his girlfriend, technically. I’m his nanny. Or I was. I don’t even know if I can be that anymore. I’m pregnant with his children. Plural. Three plural. And Oliver loves me, which is wonderful and horrible because what if I stay and it gets messy? What if I leave and break his heart? What if Ethan only wants me here because of the babies? What if he doesn’t want me enough?”

Luci reaches over and takes my hand. “What if he does?”

That's worse.

Somehow, that's worse.

Because if Ethan does want me, then I have to decide whether I’m brave enough to believe him.

“I don’t know if I trust it,” I whisper.

“Him?”

“Me.” I swallow hard. “My judgment. I thought Bryce loved me. I thought moving here with him made sense. I thought I knew what I was doing.”

“Bryce lied.”

“I still believed him.”

“That doesn’t make you stupid.”

“It makes me tired.”

Luci squeezes my hand. “Yeah. I know.”

I close my eyes.

The room is quiet except for the distant hum of the city and the occasional soft thump from somewhere outside the door, which is probably Captain dramatically collapsing in a hallway because no one's giving him cheese.

“I think I should go back with you.”

Saying it out loud makes something inside me ache immediately.

Luci doesn’t answer right away, which scares me more than if she had argued. That’s how I know she’s taking it seriously. “Okay.”

My eyes fly open. “Okay?”

“Yeah.”

I’m shook. “You’re not going to yell?”