Page 247 of Triplet Babies for my Ex's Best Friend

He smiles faintly. “I’ll address it in the morning.”

“Great. Can’t wait for the disciplinary hearing.”

Then his phone buzzes again.

“I need to take this in my office,” he says quietly. “I’ll be ten minutes.”

“Okay.”

He goes to his office, and as the door closes, my stomach sinks into iciness.

Luci sets down her fork. “You okay?”

“No.”

“Good. Honesty. Progress.”

The fears I’ve been trying to compartmentalize since the hospital refuse to stay contained anymore.

I don’t know what I am here anymore.

Not really.

I came into this apartment as Oliver’s nanny. Then Ethan became Ethan, and somewhere along the way the lines dissolved without either of us stopping to redraw them.

Now I’m pregnant with his children, sleeping down the hall from his bedroom, emotionally attached to his son, and still somehow existing in a role that no longer fits anywhere cleanly.

Not while Oliver loves me with his whole little heart, and I’m one decision away from breaking something I can’t fix.

I walk to my room before I can change my mind.

Luci follows. “Addy.”

“I need to think.”

“You’re not thinking. You’re fleeing in slow motion.”

“Still counts.”

Inside my room, my suitcases sit against the wall.

I hate that I never fully unpacked emotionally, even if my sweaters are in Ethan’s drawers now and my shampoo is in his shower, and my heart has made itself embarrassingly comfortable in places it has no legal right to occupy.

I sit on the edge of the bed.

“I can’t be his nanny anymore,” I say. “Every part of the arrangement feels blurred beyond repair now. Not while trying to figure out whether we’re building a family or surviving a crisis.”

Luci’s face softens. “No. Probably not.”

That makes me cry immediately.

“Oh, come on,” I say, wiping under my eyes. “You’re supposed to tell me I’m being dramatic.”

“Youarebeing dramatic. You’re also not wrong.”

“Unhelpful combination.”

She sits beside me. “You can’t be the live-in nanny while pregnant with his triplets and trying to figure out if you’re in love with him.”