But Theo didn’t know that, so his head whipped around to glare at her. “What did you say?” Her suspicions were right; he was jealous.
“Would you care if I agreed to go to dinner with him?” She should tell him the truth, that she would have said no, but she wanted to know Theo’s answer first. His answer mattered. They were more than just friends with benefits now. Somewhere along the way, they’d crossed over the line. She loved him. Couldn’t see a life with any other man. Surely, he could feel it too.
Theo scoffed and turned his face away. “No.”
Her heart sank. Had she been wrong? Was she seeing…feeling things that were only one sided? To be sure, she said, “So you won’t care if I date him? You won’t care if we hit it off, if things moved forward.”
He nodded. Even with the silvery light of the moon shining on him, his face darkened like a midnight sky. “If Jordan is the man you choose to share that life with, he’s a lucky guy.”
The man you choose. He didn’t place himself in that picture. A weight pressed on her shoulders, and tears pricked the backs of her eyes. Maybe all of those dating sites were right, jealousy wasn’t a sign of caring. He might be jealous, but he still didn’t want a life with her. “So, you really don’t care if I see him again?”
“It’s none of my business.” His hands slid into the pockets of his jeans, and he looked away.
“I don’t believe you. You have feelings for me.” His actions belied his words.
“Of course I do, we’re friends.”
Chloe shook her head. “No, it’s more than that. I can feel it.” She placed a hand over her heart. If she wanted Theo in her life, she had to speak up now, or she’d regret it forever. “I don’t believe you can look at me the way you do and touch me with so much passion if you didn’t lo—care for me.” She wanted to say “love,” but she pulled back when she saw his eyes widen. Better to ease him into it. Maybe he wasn’t quite there yet.
“Chloe—” He stepped closer but stopped himself.
Don’t stop!She wanted to say.Hold me. Tell me all the things I want to hear.
Screwing up her courage, she continued,“My feelings for you have changed.” She took a deep breath. “And I know yours have too. This is more than ‘just friends.’” She took another step toward him. “Look me in the eye and tell me you feel nothing for me.” The breeze picked up and whipped her hair in front of her face. With jerky hands she twisted it and slung it over her shoulder.
Theo blew out a breath and dropped his head to stare at his feet. When his head rose, he said, “I can’t.”
The tension coiling through Chloe’s body eased, and her shoulders dropped. She’d been right. “So why are you telling me to go on a date with Jordan when we can be together?”
Theo kicked the leg of the table. “Because no matter how I feel about you, we can’t be together. Go and find someone who is good for you.”
Chloe’s voice shook. “Youare good for me. I only want you.”
Theo took two strides forward and clutched Chloe’s face in his hands. “Don’t say that. Please, don’t say that!”
“Why?” She stared intently into his eyes. “Because you don’t want to get married again or have children? Is that it? Did your first marriage mess you up that much?”
He flung his arms away, turning his back to her. “Yes.”
Damn that woman! Chloe wanted to find his ex and give her a piece of her mind, but she needed to try to salvage what she had with Theo first. “It doesn’t have to be that way again.” She put a hand on his back. “I lov—”
Stopping her from admitting her love for him, he spun around, grabbed her shoulders, and crushed his lips against hers. She leaned into his heat even as the cold wind swirled around them.
When he pulled away, he said, “No matter what you say. This is all we can have.”
“I want more,” her voice cracked.
He sighed with regret. “I can’t give you more.”
She couldn’t accept that. “Why?”
“Because you deserve to be a wife and mother, and I can’t give you that. Seeing you with Rachel’s kids today confirmed that.” He caressed her cheek. “You’re going to be a wonderful mother someday. Whoever you choose to marry will be the luckiest man alive. But that man won’t be me. I can’t be a husband”—he drew a shaky breath—”and I can’t be a father.” He said it like it was immutable, final. A fact as irrefutable as the sun rising in the east rather than a choice he’d made.
But it was a choice.
She could stand out here all night arguing until she froze to death, but she knew she wouldn’t change his mind. The words she desperately wanted to hear—the life she wanted him to tell her they could have together—would never be spoken.
She couldn’t bear it any longer. She spun on her heel and raced toward the house.
