Her body shook. Was it from the chilly breeze ripping through Theo’s borrowed jacket or Theo himself not being in her future? She knew it was the latter.
And her heart shattered at the answer.
Chapter Thirty
“Morning,sweetheart.Justintime for breakfast.” His mother bustled around the kitchen placing plates of eggs, bacon, sautéed mushrooms, and tomatoes on the table. A tray of fresh fruit and a basket of thick sliced toast sat on the counter, and Theo carried them to the table.
“This looks and smells amazing.” He scanned the kitchen, noting that someone was missing. “Is Chloe still in bed? I can call her down for breakfast.” Last night had been one of the hardest nights of his life. Telling Chloe he couldn’t give her what she wanted had ripped a hole in his chest. In the long run, she’d probably see it was for the best and thank him. Still, it hurt like fucking hell letting her down.
His mother sat down and patted the chair next to her. She gave him a long, sad stare. “Chloe left early this morning. She seemed upset.”
“What!” He’d hurt her that much she couldn’t face him? He shouldn’t be surprised; he’d been a right fucking asshole to her. But he’d hoped they could walk away from this as friends, and now that didn’t seem likely.
Unaware of the turmoil her announcement had caused, his mother continued, “She said something about needing to see a client urgently and caught an Uber to the train station. I suspect there was more to it. By the look on your face, I’d say I’m right. You know something, so spill.”
“I don’t know what you mean.” He plucked a slice of toast from the basket, put it on his plate, and grabbed the butter and a knife.
His mother gave him a look, clearly unimpressed by his pitiful attempt at dodging her question. “What’s going on with you and Chloe?” When he opened his mouth, she held up her hand. “And before you say you’re just friends, you should remember I know when you’re lying.”
He blew out a breath and set the knife on the table. No point trying to deny it. Like she said, she’d know. “It’s not what you think.”
“Then tell me, because I can see more than friendship going on between the two of you.” His mother reached for the coffee carafe, poured steaming brew into two mugs, and slid one toward him.
Blowing on his coffee, he said, “We’ve been spending a lot of time together...as more than simply friends.”
“Is it serious?” she asked, able to read between the lines.
Saying no would cheapen his and Chloe’s relationship because they shared more than a fling, but he couldn’t say yes either. “It’s complicated.” And wasn’t that an understatement. “I’m not able to give her what she needs.”
His mother’s brow creased. “What does that mean? Does this have anything to do with your divorce? People often find love again after heartbreak.”
“No, it’s more than that. But something I don’t want to get into right now.” If he told her about his infertility, she’d worry and then throw herself into trying to find a solution.
She placed a hand on his forearm. “Do you love her?”
His heart squeezed. “It’s complicated,” he repeated. “Things are going on with me that aren’t good for her. She deserves better.” When his mother’s eyes grew round with concern, he hurried and added, “It’s nothing for you to worry about. I’m fine.” He wasn’t fine, but he also wasn’t dying, which was what she was likely worried about.
Her shoulders sagged with relief. “Well, whatever it is, have you told her about it?”
He drew circles with his finger on the crisp, white tablecloth. “No.”
“Why not?”
Blake walked into the kitchen and interrupted their conversation. “Don’t bother, Mum. I’ve had this same chat with him. He’s too thickheaded to understand that Chloe will probably take him warts and all if he just opens up to her.”
His mother nodded, visibly pleased with her other son. “Love doesn’t happen often, Theo. Whatever is holding you back, tell her. If she loves you, you can fix anything.”
It was a lovely sentiment, but it was also dead wrong. Love wouldn’t fix his problem. Thankfully, his father joined them, ending the conversation.
Were his mother and brother right? Although love wouldn’t fix his problem, if Chloe knew everything about him would she accept him anyway? Could she give up her dream of motherhood to spend a lifetime with someone like him?
Theo rarely took the whole weekend off, so after spending a couple of days at his parents’ house, he had loads of work to catch up on. But every time he tried getting work done, thoughts of Chloe invaded his thoughts. He’d picked up the same file three times, forgetting its contents as soon as he put it back down.
He missed Chloe. He wanted so desperately to tell her he loved her, hold her in his arms, and promise to never let her go. Without her he could barely breathe. Theo rubbed a hand across his chest like it physically ached.
Could he do what Blake and his mother suggested and tell Chloe about his infertility? If he did, how would she react? He swiveled his chair around to stare out of the window. The sky had grown overcast. A light sprinkle trickled down the glass.
He loved Chloe. He had to tell her everything. She deserved that much. He needed to let her decide if she still wanted him. Right now, he was making this decision for her, and it wasn’t fair—it wasn’t right. Things could go one of two ways: this could either end badly, or he’d have the woman he loved in his arms for the rest of his life. It was as simple as that. Either she accepted him and loved him warts and all, or Chloe would react just like Layla and break his heart.
