“No, but as soon as I clean up, I’ll beblowingyou.”
She gives me a playful slap on the shoulder. A moment later, her expression turns serious. “Did you mean it when you said you’ve never felt this way about anyone?”
Running my thumb over her lips, I gaze at her with complete seriousness. “Yes.”
She drops her head and lightly plucks at my chest hair. “You’ve never been in a relationship. You’ve only had sex with women. How do you know if you really lo—have feelings for me?”
Did she stop herself from sayinglove? Do I love her? I know I’m falling for her. Have I hit the ground yet? She’s the woman I want. The woman I want to take home to Lily. The woman I see as part of my family. Knowing all that, I don’t want to admit my true feelings. Not when I’m not sure where her career is going to take her.
Placing a finger under her chin, I tilt her face up. “I don’t need to have had past relationships to know that what I’m feeling is special. That I’ve never felt as alive as I do when I’m with you.” I cup my hand on her cheek and place a kiss on her lips. “Every moment I spend with you gets better and better.”
She breathes in a shuddery breath and smiles. “I think you’re pretty special too. God, you were such a jerk, and now…you’re not.” She laughs.
“I’m sorry for being a jerk. You went against everything I thought I wanted. I was trying to protect myself from whatever I was feeling. I must admit, I’m glad you fell into my life one rainy night.” How long will she stay in it?
Alyssa reaches out and swipes her finger on my brow. “Why the frown?”
I can either keep my insecurities to myself and let them stew or I can be upfront and know where I stand. “Alyssa, I know how I’m feeling. How I want a relationship with you, but what do you want?”
Pulling a surprised face, she says, “I’ve told you…I want this. Us.”
“Yes, but you also want a career on Broadway. A career that can take you around the world. I would never want to stand in the way of your dreams. You’re a few years younger than me. We’re at different stages of our lives. My place is here with Lily. You’re chasing a career, I’m raising a daughter. How do we make this work?”
Alyssa shuffles up into a sitting position, hugging a pillow to her chest. “We don’t even know if I’ll have a career on Broadway.”
I sit up too. Rolling the condom off, I drop it by the bed. I’ll clean it up later. “You said you have an audition.”
She makes a scoffing sound. “I always have an audition. It doesn’t mean I’ll get it.”
“It’s only a matter of time.”
“Can we worry about this if it happens?”
I take her hand and clasp it in mine. “I can’t. Not with Lily in the mix. I don’t want her getting attached only for you to leave.” Another woman can’t leave her.
“If my career takes off—”
“Whenit takes off,” I correct.
She smiles. “I can perform in the same city for months at a time. I have no intention of leaving New York. The work I want is here. I’m not going anywhere.”
Linking our fingers together, I lift them to my mouth and kiss her knuckles. “Are you sure staying in New York is really what you want?”
“Yes,” she says firmly. “I want to stay here. Not only to dance but for you too.”
“What about Lily? We’re a package deal.”
The smile she gives me lights up her face. “It’s really Lily I’m here for. You’re a bonus.”
I squeeze her hand. “Is that so?”
With her free hand, she taps the side of her chin. “Unless you can show me again how useful you can be?”
Growling, I flip her on her back and show herexactlyhow useful I am.
Chapter Twenty-Two
ALYSSA
