She closes her eyes. “You might.”
“Are you saying I’d take advantage of you with a concussion?” I shake my head. “I’m not an animal. Unless it’syouwho can’t controlyourself?”
She cracks open one eyelid. “Puh-lease. You’re safe.” Her eye closes again.
“Okaay,” I say like I don’t believe her.
“It’s true.”
“I think I’ll put pillows between us just in case.”
She huffs and opens her eyes. “Not necessary.”
“Your hands wander in your sleep.” I grin.
She rolls her eyes before closing them again. “Whatever. Now let me sleep.”
I sit on the edge of the bed. “I’ll wake you in a few hours to check on you.”
With a soft, sleepy voice, she says, “Wake me when the pizza arrives.” I guess the concussion hasn’t affected her appetite even after she vomited three times at the hospital. “I hope you ordered…pepperoni,” her voice trails away.
Pulling a blanket from the end of the bed, I drape it over her. Alyssa’s head tilts to the side with her lips slightly parted. Soft breathing indicates that she’s fallen asleep. Her hair has fallenacross her face, and I brush it back, my fingers touching her soft cheek.
Turning her head, she nestles her face into my palm. “Don’t leave me,” she mumbles.
Her words shoot into my chest and explode with a burst of regret.Don’t leave her?She’s the one leaving me! But what reason have I given her to stay? Over and over again, I’ve pushed her away. What was she supposed to do?
Like she said, love shouldn’t have conditions. I’ve given her a condition so fucking unreasonable all because my head’s a wreck. I’ve let a woman who means nothing to me destroy any trust I have in someone so wonderful. Letting her ruin a life I could build with someone I love.
Just watching Alyssa following Lily around the classroom, genuinely interested in her artwork and schoolwork, is proof she’s nothing like Rachel. She didn’t have to come to the classroom’s open day. There were a million excuses she could have used to stay away. Yet she didn’t want to let Lily down no matter how tense things were between us.
Alyssa has showed Lily so much love and affection that’s gone beyond a teacher and student relationship, and she’s not even Lily’s mother. What would she be like with her own children? Fucking amazing. Lily could see it. She even made up a story that we were getting married, and Alyssa was going to be her new mother. I had blinders on.
This is a woman who would never abandon her child, no matter where she is or what she’s doing.
I’m the man who has royally fucked things up.
Chapter Thirty-One
ALYSSA
Two days later, propped up with pillows in Hayden’s bed, I aimlessly flick through the channels of the TV hung on the wall. I’m so bored with inactivity I want to scream with frustration. Every time I suggest getting out of bed, Hayden reminds me I need to rest and heal.
The headaches have subsided, although the fall caused my body to ache like I’ve been hit by a truck. Whenever Hayden leaves the bedroom, I pace around the small room, trying to stretch the kinks away. I can’t stay on my feet too long because my ankle has flared-up again. Will my freaking ankle ever get back to normal? This is not what I need when I’m about to leave for London to start rehearsals. I decided to take the role, but I haven’t told my agent about my injuries yet. He might have a heart attack.
I can’t say it’s been all bad in Hayden’s bed. Two days waking up in his arms has given me a moment to dream of what our lifecould be like if he wasn’t so scared to let go of past hurts. That is until his eyes flutter open and the realization of how we are sleeping hits him and he pulls away. I know I said he was the one who can’t keep his hands to himself, but in the middle of the night, it was me who snuggled closer. It’s where I want to be.
Swinging my legs off the bed, I get ready for my daily stroll around the room. Before I get onto my feet, my stomach churns. For a second, I think I need to run to the bathroom and throw up. I take deep breaths through my nose until the nausea subsides. This is probably the aftereffects of the concussion. There’s a prickle of a thought in the back of my mind and I quickly shut it down. I’m not pregnant. I can’t be.
On my feet, the room spins, and I hold my head in my hands until it stops. Once the world has righted itself, I head toward the door. I need to see more than these four walls I’m stuck in. Before I can get far, Hayden strolls in with a tray of food in his hands.
“Why are you out of bed?” He frowns.
“I’m bored. There’s nothing to watch on TV, and I need fresh air,” I complain.
“Open a window,” he suggests.
I sigh. “It’s not the same.”
