Page 10 of That Fire

I ended the call and resumed staring at the ceiling, wishing I could have just kept the pussy to myself.

Chapter 3

Royal

“My conscience kicked in, and I told her we couldn’t fuck anymore. I don’t think she’s even told the man that could possibly be the father that she’s pregnant.”

I took a pull from the blunt I was smoking, then glanced at my dad. He’d nodded but remained quiet. After taking a pull and exhaling, he said, “You love her.”

I glanced at him, then brought my gaze to my hands.

“If it was just pussy, you wouldn’t care,” he added.

“Well, maybe I’m just dick, because she didn’t seem to care.”

“Naw. The nigga who the babies are from is just dick. Shani said she cried her heart out when she found out the babies weren’t yours. If you were just dick, it wouldn’t matter. I mean every woman wants a man that they believe will be a good father for their kids, but that doesn’t necessarily mean they care about him as a partner. She cares about you, man. Y’all need to quit hiding your feelings and put all that shit on the table.”

I huffed, then took another pull. Did I want to let my guard down like that and risk her rejection? I could see her hurt last night when I ended things between us. It hurt me more than she would believe. Originally, I figured we could move on likenothing ever happened, but what about that other nigga? He deserved to know.

“You thinking hard over there. What do you have to lose by telling her the truth? It’s not like you have her right now.”

“My pride. I don’t want to open up like that to be rejected. Even if she feels the same way, she could possibly reject the idea of us being together.”

“Love is risky, son. But so is everything else worth having. I almost lost your mom because I wouldn’t open up to her. I wouldn’t openly claim her as mine. You know why? I was guarded because of my past.”

Seven had enlightened me on that shit. Uncle Storm talked too much. My dad had never told me about that. “I don’t know, Dad. I just need to see how things go with the man that’s the father first.”

“Fair enough. In the meantime, don’t be moping around here. Smoke something and move on. You can’t dwell on it, or you will be depressed as fuck.”

I nodded as my phone vibrated. Glancing at it, I saw it was Seven. I rolled my eyes, then opened the thread.

So y’all together? Or is it business as usual?

“Seven is to me what Uncle Storm is to you,” I said, causing my dad to chuckle.

“That nigga is Storm reloaded times two. I didn’t think a nigga could get any worse, and Seven came along and proved me wrong.”

“He saw me and Aaliyah yesterday in the Escalade.”

He slowly shook his head. “That’s why yo’ ass was out there scrubbing the shit out of the inside of it this morning. Nasty asses.”

I side-eyed him as he chuckled. I’d gotten a ton of unwanted visuals of him and Mama in their vehicle, because they couldn’tcarry their nasty asses in the house. That shit didn’t just start when they got older.

“The apple don’t fall far from the tree, nigga. Y’all ain’t hiding shit,” I said, causing him to laugh more. “I don’t know how the fuck I fell in love with her ass.”

“So you admitting it?” he asked.

“Maaaann . . . she must be practicing voodoo. I have never felt like this for anybody I was just fucking. She was down with the arrangement. It was like one day I was just fucking with her, and the next day I was making love to her. Going without her nearly killed me those couple of months when she was hiding her pregnancy from me. I just . . .”

I slowly shook my head as my dad stared at me. “I’d gotten used to the idea of having a family that quickly. Honestly, I think she was down to see how we would be as a couple too. The babies not being mine killed me inside, man.”

He set his blunt on the arm of the wooden chair, then turned to me. “So, I dated this chick that got pregnant. She was a model. I was happy as shit. Then one day, she came out here to see me and told me she had an abortion. I wanted to choke that ho. Just seeing her made me volatile. I literally got arrested one night at a rodeo fooling around with her ass. After her, I had a chick I was just fucking to get pregnant from me. She miscarried right there in the bed with me.”

I stared at him waiting for him to continue.

“That shit fucked me up for the longest. That was why I had a hard time committing to your mama. Finally, Shameka came clean and told me she didn’t have an abortion. The baby wasn’t mine. While at the time I was relieved, it still stung a bit to know that the woman I used to love had cheated on me. I had gotten used to the idea of having a family. My point is, you’re still young. Whoever it’s meant for you to have a family with . . . you gon’ have it. Maybe she’s not the one.”

It felt like he’d shot me in the chest when he said that. “So I’m in love with a woman I’m not supposed to have.”