Page 15 of That Fire

Her:I’m good. Are you busy?

Me:No. I just got home.

Her:Is it okay if we come over?

Me:Yeah, sure.

I huffed. She wasn’t going to let me distance myself from her. I wasn’t going to invite her over, but I couldn’t tell her no either. This shit wasn’t her fault. It was mine. I needed to see my niece anyway. She was around five months old or a little older, and I could count how many times I’d held her. That wasn’t right. I needed to bond with her.

When I got inside the house, I took the food from the fridge. I had pork roast, green beans, potato salad and cornbread. There was more than enough roast and sides for everyone, but not enough cornbread. I went ahead and took another box of Jiffy from the cabinet and whipped that up in a small loaf pan, then went to get comfortable in my sweats and a T-shirt.

Once I changed, I went back to the kitchen to get the food warmed. I was looking forward to my family coming over. I probably needed their love and support more than anything else right now. My parents knew how to pump me up and have me feeling like I was on top of the world.Lord knows. . . My soul had been in the trenches lately. I’d been extremely hard on myself. Like my daddy said, everyone made mistakes and bad decisions. No one was perfect. If only I could make my mind feel that.

All I could seem to ponder over repeatedly was how I didn’t have Royal anymore. I grabbed my phone and opened our thread. I had to reach out.

I just wanted to say hey. I hope your day went well.

After that text, I realized that I’d lost his friendship too. I had never really looked at him as a friend, but we talked about all kinds of shit. There were no secrets between the two of us. Iswore, it felt like we were in an open marriage. We talked about some of our conquests, especially when it was all fucked up. I also told him about my trysts with women. It turned him on to hear me say how a woman had sucked the fuck out of my pussy.

I smiled slightly as I thought about how he would ask if she was better than him. If I took too long to answer, he would commence to showing me that no one was better than him. If we were on the phone, he would be at my place in a matter of minutes. When my phone buzzed, I quickly looked at it to see it was Royal, responding to me.

It was good. How are you?

I sat with my feelings for a minute, trying to decide if I wanted to be honest. Instead, I chose to just keep it simple.

I’m okay.

Iwasn’tokay. I was dying inside, missing him and his tenderness. No one else compared to him, and I lost out. Hopefully, he could eventually see how much I needed him. I refused to tell him though. It didn’t matter as long as I was carrying someone else’s babies. I made up in my mind that I would stop pining over Royal when he refused to see the bigger picture. We werebothfucking around. I just happened to be the one who could get pregnant.

When I looked at things that way, I was no longer sad or depressed. Unfortunately, I was now angry.

“Did you have breakfast?”

“Yeah. I had a bagel, a fried egg, and some bacon.”

Brian nodded politely. “I know this is slightly weird, but I’m somewhat excited. While I know this isn’t how you wantedthings to go, we’re still here. I really think you’re a great person. If the babies are mine, I promise to do right by them and by you.”

“Thank you for that. You’re a great person too.”

He gave me a smile as we left his place in Beaumont. Although Houston was closer to my place, I couldn’t take the risk of anyone seeing him at my house. I lived too close to Mr. Storm and Seven. I still didn’t know who told Royal I was fucking PJ. Although that wasn’t true, there was no telling who was watching me and reporting shit back.

He turned the music up, and I realized it was Eric Bellinger. I really liked his music. He was a hell of a writer too. As I bobbed my head a bit, he said, “I’m glad you like this music. I rock with Eazy heavy.”

I smiled. “I like a lot of different music. It’s hard to miss me. I listen to country, rap, R&B, pop, jazz, gospel, rock . . . all of it, except heavy metal. The only person I wanna hear screaming in a song is Prince. I may can even stand Steven Tyler, but that’s it.”

He chuckled. “I feel that. So umm . . . how far along are you?”

“Almost twenty-seven weeks. So right at six months, maybe a week past it.”

He nodded. “That was about what I figured. You’re the last person I slept with, so that made it easier to remember exactly when it happened.”

My eyebrows lifted. “You haven’t had sex in six months?”

“No. You were rare. I don’t typically engage in casual sex. I was just so backed up, and you’re so beautiful. When you responded to my subtle flirting, I was shocked.”

“Why?”

“Because I’m fifteen years older than you. Because I’m Asad’s best friend. Because I’m tender and not as aggressive.”