Page 17 of That Fire

Royal

Asha had sucked the skin off my dick. That shit was so good I had to double back last night. It was like she was auditioning for that number one spot or some shit. Only one woman I’d been with could get that spot and currently, she was carrying another nigga’s babies. It had been almost two weeks since I’d seen her or talked to her, and my mind was conflicted.

On one hand, I missed her like crazy. I thought about her all the time. I constantly went out of my way, hoping to catch a glimpse of her. On the other hand, I didn’t think I could handle being with her while she was pregnant with another nigga’s kids. This shit was torture. I’d fucked three different women, searching for fulfillment and memory lapse. I wanted to feel how I did when I was with her, but at the same time, forget that it was her who evoked those feelings.

I was sitting here at the diner with my boys, but my mind was a million miles away, wondering if Aaliyah was caked up with the potential father and if they’d done a DNA test yet. She messaged me once, asking how I was doing, and then there was silence. Someone was filling her free time, just like I tried filling mine with other women.

“Nigga, is you cool?”

I looked up from my plate and saw the entire table staring at me. Seven was the one who asked the question.

“I’m cool. Just tired as fuck.”

“You ought to be. I saw your headlights at three this morning,” Mythic said.

“And you was heading to the office at seven? Did you sleep at all?” Crew asked.

“Not really. I gotta slow down on my ho activities.”

Most of them laughed, but Seven’s face remained serious. I was just hoping he didn’t say shit. If I wanted everybody to know how fucked up I was, I would broadcast the shit myself. I stood from the table and went to the front to get a box. I had a full day. The first half was Henderson Ranch and Farms’s business, and the second half was inventory at the liquor store with my dad. We typically did inventory once a month, and that shit took all day. I could imagine we would be there late into the night. especially if Crew didn’t show up to help.

When I got back to the table, I started boxing my food. “I need to get to the liquor store, so I won’t have to be there all fucking night. I’ll holla at y’all niggas later.”

I grabbed the box and my keys and headed to the door. I didn’t miss that Seven was walking out behind me. Hendersons were nosy by nature, but he and Uncle Storm were the nosiest of the nosiest. When I walked out of the door, I turned to him. and asked, “What’s up, man?”

“You tell me. I can tell you ain’t good, and it ain’t got shit to do with being tired as fuck. If you need an update, Aaliyah been chilling. She’s had a couple of people over . . . both women.”

I nodded. Aaliyah lived down the same road they lived on. I didn’t care about who she’d been with. I only cared about her not being with me. That was my call though, and I hated feeling confused with my own thoughts and emotions. I couldn’t be withher feeling like this, because my petty would kick in the first time we disagreed on something. I would be quick to throw shit in her face, like I wasn’t a ho-ass nigga.

“Whatever. I’m not worried about who she with.”

I unlocked my dented Escalade and walked to it. I supposed I stared at the hood a little too long, because he asked, “You gon’ get that shit fixed?”

“I ain’t worried about that shit.”

He frowned but didn’t say anything else about it. He stepped closer, and said, “PJ said he’s doing well and to make sure we keep him up to date with the latest fuckery going on in our lives. He said he sick of watching TV.”

I gave him a one-sided smile. “Who relayed the message?”

“Ali.”

I nodded. “Ask him if he ever fucked Aaliyah. She said she didn’t, but I need to hear it from him too.”

That wiped the smile right off Seven’s face. “I’ll relay that through Ali. That shit still bothering you?”

“Not really, but when you brought up his name, that was the first place my mind went to.”

“Why don’t you just be with her?”

“I don’t want to be with her and end up throwing shit in her face about shit I do too. It’s crazy as fuck. My mind is all over the place, and it wants to be mad that she’s pregnant for another nigga. Those babies should have been mine. She should have been mine.”

I was shocked I admitted that shit to him. He was the one who gave me the most shit when I was trying to be with her when I thought the babies were mine.

“I’m taking my anger with myself out on her. I’ve been feeling her for a long time, and not just the sex. That shit is on another level, but it isn’t the whole reason I wanna be with her.”

He nodded. “I know the feeling . . . somewhat. I fell for Iesha before I even had a taste. Now that I’m in a relationship with her, a solid relationship, it’s made me more understanding of relationship shit.”

I nodded. “Have you seen Aaliyah with a man?”