Page 62 of That Fire

“You think you’ll be ready to go home tomorrow?”

“Well, my insurance is probably gonna stop paying after tomorrow anyway.”

“Girl, fuck them people. I’m asking you.”

I smiled. “Thank you, Bali. I believe I’ll be ready to go home.”

“Okay. Have you walked today?”

“I did this morning.”

“Okay. Make sure you walk again before you go to sleep. Have you gone to the bathroom yet?”

“Yeah.”

She frowned slightly, then tilted her head in Keke Palmer fashion. I giggled. “No.”

“Okay. You need to shit before I can let you go.”

“Bali, if you were just going to say it, why were you trying to be discreet at first?” Royal asked.

“Because I realized that I’m Bali Henderson-Semien. Why the fuck am I being discreet?”

Royal rolled his eyes as Ashanni chuckled. This girl was an entire mess. When she left the room, Daddy Jasper said, “I realized you called Chas, Mama Chas. I know I better not just be Mister Jasper.”

I laughed. “Nope. I call you Daddy Jasper. My daddy said if I had to call any other man daddy, he was happy that it was you.”

His face reddened as Mama Chas shoulder bumped him. For some reason, I believed he needed that more than I even knew.

“They are so beautiful, Aaliyah. I can’t stop staring at them.”

“They are gorgeous, just like you,” I said as I lay in bed watching Royal stare at them.

We’d been home a couple of days, and I was completely worn out. Rasha was the greediest little baby I had ever seen. She was constantly on the titty. I was literally falling asleep while she was nursing. Ravi had to be woken up to eat. He would much rather sleep. I was with him. It almost made me wish I wouldn’t have breast fed. Once my milk came in, I would be able to pump, but until then, I would have to ask the pediatrician if I could do both formula and breast milk.

“Royal, have you been sleeping?”

“Here and there.”

“Come here.”

He came and got in bed with me and kissed my lips. His soul was tormented, and instead of feeling it, he would rather focus on the babies. It was easy for him to do that right now,because we weren’t back to normal. When our days went back to him going to work and being at the diner, it would hit him even harder when he got to their table at the diner and Crew wasn’t sitting there. I hated this for him. I couldn’t imagine what it would be like to lose Asad or Red Squared.

Daddy Jasper had been spending quite a bit of time here as well. When he wasn’t here, he was at Ashanni’s. I believed he and Royal were doing the same thing, avoiding the pain. Mama Chas had come over too, but she’d also been busy with Ashanni, planning Crew’s funeral. It would be this coming weekend. Bali had ended up keeping me an extra day until I shitted, so I didn’t go home until Sunday.

It was already Tuesday, and I still couldn’t believe I’d birthed such perfection. They both had heads full of wavy black hair like Royal. What was I saying? Every physical aspect of them was Royal. Their skin color, their thick pink lips, their damn fingernails and toenails . . . it all looked like his. I didn’t understand how my genes didn’t even put up a fight.

My mama and I had laughed about that for at least ten minutes the other day. Rasha even got her appetite from him. He and Daddy Jasper could put away some food. It was crazy how Rasha was already that way. She had my damn nipples sore from how she was latching on. It didn’t help that she was so damn aggressive. I was starting to believe she’d wrapped that cord around her brother’s neck like Bali had said.

I glanced down at Royal to see he was knocked out. I smiled slightly, hoping that the babies stayed asleep so he could rest. He needed it. Family typically waited until around noon to come over, and I was grateful for that. We were still trying to get used to their sleep schedule. Rasha woke up nearly every two hours to eat. I woke Ravi up to eat every other time she woke up. I knew if I didn’t wake him up while she was up, I would never sleep.

Just my luck, he would wake up while she was asleep. I wouldn’t be good for nothing or nobody. I gently stroked Royal’s back as he lay next to me. He wasn’t a snorer, but he was definitely snoring now. He needed this rest so badly. I knew he wasn’t getting much sleep at the hospital. Neither of us were all that comfortable. While they had nice sized beds there, it wasn’t like sleeping in our own bed.

When his phone started vibrating, I wanted to curse. He sprang up and pulled it from his pocket like he was expecting an important phone call.

“Hello . . .? I’d dozed off for a minute . . . naw, what’s up . . .?”

He left the room as he talked and winked at me before he closed the door. I took a deep breath, wishing he could just rest, even if it were only for an hour. Whenever I woke up with the babies, he was awake to help me. He looked even more like his dad these days, because he seemed to age a bit overnight. I knew it was from his lack of sleep.