Page 10 of First in Line

He grins at that, clearly unbothered by the idea. “Okay, don’t touch anything,” he orders. “I’ll sit next to you, and we’ll give it a try.”

I shake my head as I watch him go around, trying to ignore the knots in my stomach. I mentioned I wanted to get my permit soon, but I didn’t think he’d take his teaching duties so seriously. But here we are at our high school’s empty lot, on a summer break Sunday.

“Alright,” Jax says with enthusiasm once he’s next to me. “The handbrake is already down, so no need to worry about that. You’re in neutral, but it’s usually good to keep a gear on, so the car can’t roll if the handbrake fails. So, press the clutch and put it in first gear. No, that’s the brake, princess. The clutch is the one on—Okay, yeah, that one. Now, I showed you the first gear, so go on.”

He pauses for me to comply, so I do. Keeping one hand on the wheel, I bring the other to the gearshift and do the inverted L shape he showed me. It doesn’t stick the first time, but when I do it again, it seems to make the right sound.

“Great,” he approves with a proud smile. “Now, because the car is in gear, you need to push the clutch all the way down before you turn the key, or it’ll stall.”

The engine roars away, vibrating and powerful. Genuinely, I think learning how to drive on a racing car might be the worst idea anyone’s ever had.

“That’s perfect, you’re doing amazing. Now—wait, no.” Quickly, he tugs at his seatbelt and fastens it. Even though I know it’s on, I look down to check mine. “Alright, back to it,” he continues. “You need toslowlyrelease the clutch and, at the same time, press on the gas.”

After a quick look below, I set my free foot over the gas pedal. Then, following a deep breath, I do as he said. But I’m either pressing or releasing too fast, because the car makes a hurdled jump and stalls.

With remarkable patience, Jax says, “It’s okay, it happens to everyone the first time. We’ll just start over. Winnie, behave,” he scolds his car.

It takes me two more tries, but eventually the car starts moving forward without an issue. “I’m doing it!” I shout with excitement. “I’m driving!”

“Yes, you are! I knew you could do it, princess. How about we try speeding up a little and switching to second gear?”

“Can I just do this for a little longer?” I beg, scared about what might happen if I touch the clutch again.

“Sure. Let’s keep it slow and steady.”

I’m not sure how long we do this, going at this impossibly slow speed, but he doesn’t complain once, even though this must be a snail’s pace for him. He finds new challenges for me to try, like passing right between two parking spots, or stopping then starting again without stalling. By the time I feel ready for the second gear, it’s almost child’s play.

The lot is so large and empty that I get to make a few accelerations. I even manage to go fast enough to switch to fourth gear. An hour of this and I understand why he loves driving so much. There’s something thrilling and exhilaratingabout driving fast, about controlling such a powerful wonder of engineering.

I’m the one who eventually asks to stop, a little scared I might take it too far and send us flying into the bushes that surround the lot. I put the car back into first gear, tug the handbrake up, and turn off the ignition. Jax turns the key again, enough for the music to keep playing. He’s been broadening my musical horizons a lot, and I like it. Especially Kendrick Lamar’s songs, which he listens to all the time—like now. We step out of the car to sit on Winifred’s hood.

“Thank you for teaching me, Jax. You didn’t have to, but I appreciate it.”

“You’re welcome. And I kinda had to.”

“Why?” I ask with a giggle.

“Well, I want to become an F1 driver.”

“F1?”

“Formula One.”

“That’s your goal?”

“More like my dream.”

“Is it hard to become one?”

“There are only twenty of them in the whole world, plus some reserves. So yeah, it’s very selective.”

“So, what’s the game plan, Hot Wheels?”

He smiles at the nickname. “Optimally, I should have started karting years ago. Like, when I was seven or eight.”

“Wow, really?”

“Yeah, it’s a whole thing. But I can’t do that, so I’m trying to make it there in my own way.”