One of his hands grabbed my waist, fingers pressing into the very pudge that had me in hysterics. He brushed my hair out of my face, grabbing a fistful in the process—firmly but gently directing me to look at him by tightening his fingers into the locks.
“You’re also muscle and organs and blood. What does ‘fat’ have to do with anything? I seem to be missing some important context, and I hate that you’re crying, and I don’t know how to help.”
I gulped, my eyes staring down when I couldn’t turn my head away from his gaze. “I’m large. My body islarge. And heavy. And hard to hoist up a goddamn mountain. And that’s humiliating.”
“Says who?” He squeezed my waist tighter.
“I don’t know, my childhood bullies,” I snorted humorlessly. “Family… Random strangers… Every guy I ever tried to date. Where do you want me to start?”
“The males you tried to date made you feel bad about your body?” Another hand lifted to my hip, fingers spreading wide to cover the expanse of its fullness.
“Hell, the ones Ididdate made me feel bad about it! I’m not sure anyone I’ve ever kissed has actually found me attractive. They didn’t want me, they just wanted—”
Theo’s lips crashed into mine. Everything froze. The three hands not tenderly tugging my hair explored my upper body, paying their respects to every curve and crease slowly. He gripped my wide upper arms. His thumbs rubbed across the round of my stomach. He squeezed my love handles and ran his palms across the fuller parts of my back. The webbing of his thumb and forefinger pressed into my soft jawline.
I should be in shock—it was so sudden—but being caged in Theo’s arms feltright. Comforting. His rain-soaked earthy scent and the rumble of his chest felt designed to lull me into a state of peace that I’d been denied in life up until now.
His kiss was unlike any I’d ever experienced. It was deep, slow, and hungry. And yet… his hands didn’t reach under my dress. He didn’t shove his tongue into my mouth without welcome. Our lips locked together, he showed me what it meant to be utterly desired and respected at the same time. I focused on the sensation of his embrace, his breaths mingling with my own, and allowed myself to give in.
I threw my arms around his sturdy shoulders, lifting up to my tiptoes. He folded over me, meeting halfway to accommodate our height difference. I cupped his jaw and moaned when I felt a muscle clench under my fingertips. His body responded to mine as I responded to his. I wondered how else we might feel each other’sphysicalreactions, if he didn’t have to bend at the waist…
When he pulled away—far too soon—longing ached within my core.
“There,” he breathed heavily, “now you’ve kissed someone who finds you irresistible. Flesh, bone, fat—all of you. It’s all beautiful. And one day, you’ll be worshipped properly, Viv. Settle for nothing less than a male on his fucking knees for you.”
“Theo—I—”
There were no words. I couldn’t believe my eyes and ears. This man, this absolute deity of a person, cared enough to dispute a lifetime worth of insecurity. And fuck, the way he was looking at me! Like he was starving. I may enjoy being devoured if I could trust he would cherish every bite.
His eyes were so incredibly dark. They were practically black. No. Theywereblack. And so were his tattoos. Notinky gray.Black. They swallowed all light. Dark, purple veins branched around his eyes and lips, the surrounding skin slightly transparent. He was dangerously and unnaturally beautiful—godlike—and he clung to me like I was a worthy partner.
It all faded as quickly as it appeared. His features had returned to normal, but I waspositiveI hadn’t imagined the changes this time.
“Thank you for letting me steal a taste of the heavens from your lips, Little Goddess.” He licked the corner of his mouth slowly.
The daytime starlight had disappeared, leaving us within the soft teal glow of the dense grove. It reminded me of being at the aquarium in elementary school. That cool, dreamlike ambiance that goes hand-in-hand with standing in front of a shark tank. The misplaced harmony of thinking, “sure it’s a predator, but it isn’t attacking any of the fishies.” Naïve wonder drowning out the natural anxiety of being in the presence of something deadly.
I heard wind howling through the trees, but I felt no breeze. Was that the sound of the creatures that lived in these orchards? Did it matter, when the biggest monster here carefully brushed another misbehaving strand of hair from my face?
“Thank you for taking care of me.” I didn’t know if I was referring to his attendance to my emotions or physical safety, but it didn’t matter. It covered what I was feeling.Safe. Instinctively, my hand ran up his chest.
Theo cleared his throat, shattering the spell that had bound us as he stepped away to the nearest tree. He reached for the lowest branch, grasping it and pulling it down to face-level. Humming with thought.
“What is it?” I asked, hugging my arms to soothe the feeling of loss I experienced with his hands no longer exploring me.
“I’ve never been inside one of these groves. Look where the light comes from.” He plucked something from the branch and held it out to me.
Within Theo’s palm was a translucent white crystal, near identical to the ones now hanging from our necks. I looked up to see more glass-like ornaments dangling from the blue-green branches. Thin silver strands connected rock to tree, twinkling alongside the loosely swinging stones.
“I guess we know where these come from now,” he remarked, letting go of the branch so it snapped back. The crystals sang like chimes in the wind. “Looks like we picked the perfect place to take shelter for the night. Between these and the charms, you may as well be within your field’s protection.”
“I do feel surprisingly safe,” I admitted, staring at the very reason for that core sense of security.
He smiled.
Theo
Her snoring was soft, peaceful,innocent. Unlike the thoughts keeping me awake.
