“She’s safe,” I said confidently. “Nobody but Ida knows she’s up there. And even I couldn’t trek through those blizzards to the top of that mountain.”
“You're about to return to either a very needy, or a very pissed off female, my friend.”
Wouldshe be pissed off? She knew my absence was temporary. I’d built her a cabin. I was leaving my entire life behind to be her willing and eager servant. Sure, Viv was unhappy when I left. Webothwere. Separating for a season was a hard thing.
I didn’t see why any bad feelings would be directed at me. But if they were, I’d be more than happy to get on my knees and beg for her sweet forgiveness.
Vivian
“What an asshole.”
Man shows up, builds me a fucking house, introduces me to how great sex can be, steals my heart, and then leaves to resume his role astortured bartender. I’d gone through every stage of grief and settled on anger; it numbed the ache of his absence the most. I hoped he wasn’t lying when he promised he’d be back, because I had some words to share. I’d been rehearsing all winter in this shuttered-up cabin.
I was mumbling those very profanities to myself as I scooped handfuls of snow out of my garden beds. Everything needed to melt so my plants could grow and I could have fresh food in the house again.
The rich green dips and hills of clover were just beginning to peek through the last patches of unmelted white snow. The wheat border in the distance sparkled from droplets of thawing ice. I should be grateful my field had stayed warm enough fortoomany inches to accumulate on the ground. The forest wasn’t so lucky; a solid wall of white swallowed the surrounding tree trunks. It was a little daunting, but I figured it wouldn’t be there for much longer—it washotoutside.
My bones ached from the transition of blizzard to searing summer day, and the melting snow made the humidity nearly unbearable. I’d slept like shit, completely overheating from the winter blankets I’d fallen asleep under. To top it all off, I wasof courseon my period.
The towering trees groaned as their trunks adjusted to the temperature shift. They didn’t like the drastic change, either. At least we could commiserate.
It was eerie, like the sound of a creaky old house surrounding you for miles. The chittering and roaring of the local creatures only made it that much creepier. Sure would be nice to have a seven-foot-tall, four-armed god to make me feel safe right now. But he was busybartending.
Nurghle ducked his head outside for a fleeting moment before swiftly returning to the shade of the cabin—it was a little more bearable in there. I was tempted to stay inside myself, but living with Theo last summer had instilled in me the irritating habit of waking up and being productive. I would’ve beenjustas happy to stay in bed before I met him. If it wasn’t for his influence, I could be inside right now. Relaxing.
Armed with my new reason to be pissed, I shoveled handfuls of snow rapidly and complained under my breath about the rat bastard that had made me improve myself.
I really wished I could head straight for Drifael today—I missed Ida something fierce—but it just wasn’t happening. Even if the wall of snow around my field melted immediately, the resulting water and mud rolling down the mountain would make it impossible to trek. Plus, my body needed to adjust to the changes in the atmosphere. I felt feverish. I should’ve expected as much—last year I’d been out of commission for three days when the seasons changed—but my loneliness hadn’t let meadmit that to myself. I’d been routinely repeating “summer” out loud for fifty days to self-soothe, not allowing myself to consider when it would berealisticto travel again. Summer… day four? That didn’t sound as appealing.
I shook my hands dry after finishing my self-assigned task. Plenty of productivity for one day. Sure, I needed a shower, but the alcove’s waterfall wasfreezingfrom all the melted snow. Bathing would have to wait like everything else; I had a date with my increasing madness. Time to go inside, talk to my cat, and doodle more in the notebook Theo had left behind. The pages were filled by now; I was squeezing new designs into every square millimeter of margin.
I’d try the trip to Drifael in just a few more days. I could totally make it that long without losing my fucking mind. At least I wasprettysure I could.
I weaved around another cascade of pine-scented rainwater plummeting from the tree branches well-above me. The arboreal waterfalls always reminded me of the day Theo and I had formally met. They’d been everywhere, decorating the forest with inconvenient shimmery ribbons. The trickling and splashing of water hitting the ground reverberated in the air. Had that day been the sixth of summer too?Thatwould explain why he was so heavily on my mind as I made my way towards Drifael—it was an anniversary of sorts. It couldn’t possibly be because I was fucking obsessed with him.
Who was I kidding? I would gladly throw my crystal in a puddle and sacrifice myself to another monster if Theo wouldshow up to save me again, but something told me he wouldn’t be here for the rescue. I’d be in charge of saving myself. And frankly, I didn’t think I was cut out for that. My self-defense had proven to be nonexistent when I was attacked; I was as good as dead if I found myself in a rematch against nature.
Another column of falling water.Weave.
I began to romanticize the idea of Theo returning to find me frail and devoured, a petite little maiden who couldn’t protect herself. He would regret leaving me to my loneliness. He would say “obviously Vivian needed me, she didn’t stand a chance on her own” and hold my corpse in the rain.
“Stop, Viv. You’re being childish and a shit feminist,” I grumbled to myself, stepping around yet another stream of plummeting rainwater from the umbrella-like leaves of the blue pine trees.
There was a rattling nearby. I glanced to my right to find a spindly creature—something between a dog and a horse—with vacant eyes, clicking its sharp front teeth in my direction. Its black bones were saran-wrapped in pale flesh, a dark mist hovering around it. It must’ve been the tenth monster I’d passed today, and I hadn’t even reached Ida’s cabin yet. Maybe another mile to that half-way mark?
Weave.
I grabbed for the jar I had tied to my hip. Even though I didn’t expect to be out past dark, I found the charm comforting. Theo’s blood drizzled protectively over the spell’s herb. It was a little piece of him that made me feel safe, like he was still here taking care of me.Even though he left.
Weave.
Funny how I missed this man so bad a jar of his dried blood was an emotional support tool. Vampire romance was starting to make a lot more sense to me. To love someone so much that you’re fixated on what pumps through their veins. Too bad on Trebianna I’d never have the chance to reread—
“Hi there!”
My heart stopped and every muscle tensed. Of all the hissing, growling, roaring, dripping, whooshing, clacking, whistling, trickling, groaning sounds of the forest… I was surprised to heara person.
I recognized that familiar, earthly clothing even at a distance. I’d run into this man both times I was in town, even though he was an outsider.
