Page 42 of Steel

Sadly, I’d done so on the sly, terrified that I’d upset Damon. Yet I’d allowed him to pick out toys, treating the pup as if he was a permanent fixture.

The ugly truth was that I was digging myself a hole I feared I’d never claw my way out of.

“Mom. Are you listening to me?”

Woof. Woof. Woof.

“I’m listening, sweetie.” I was also concentrating on keeping the Jeep on the road while enjoying the scenery. Missoula was truly gorgeous and Main Street was quaint and colorful, filled with flags and awnings and people. Lots of people. It was the kind of town people could enjoy their family in, rarely worried about safety.

Maybe bears and wolves but not gang members. Immediately, my thoughts shifted to my next-door neighbor. I’d seen him driving earlier in his big black truck, zooming down the gravel road in a hurry.

Perhaps trying to avoid dealing with me.

“Mom! Are you even listening to me?”

I dragged my mind from the gutter and my eyes into the rearview mirror. How fascinating my little man had no issue sitting in the back as long as Zorro was with him. “Of course I’m listening to you.”

“You told me I shouldn’t lie so you can’t either.”

At least my son had me cracking up. We’d found a grocery store the day before, making do with a small bag of dogfood and a few groceries for us. Now we could prepare a feast. I had to hit the ground running in the morning. At least I’d managed to track down a few names of potential… clients. That’s the only way I could think of the smokejumpers.

I’d also need to speak to the captain, which meant a plan needed to be laid out for my interference, timing, payment, and contracts. I needed to go in with the entire project on a silver platter, so they’d be fools to say no.

At least that’s what I was banking on. Literally. “Alright, bud. You got me. What were you saying?” Zorro’s little head slipped through the seats, his big brown eyes catching and capturing mine.

Just like the handsome pain in the ass smokejumper.

Oh! Why was I doing that to myself?

“The collar is perfect for Zorro. I love it. Do you? Do you think he likes his toys? I can’t tell for certain, but I hope so. Can we play outside when we get home? You know what would be cool? If we could make hamburgers and then Zorro can have one. Hey, why don’t we invite Steel for dinner?”

When it came to my son, I was rarely surprised by anything he said or did. Even the first small fire he’d started hadn’t been a shock.

But the fact he wanted a basic stranger to have dinner with us did push all the buttons in my cautious mom suit that I had to wear around him. Not because I was afraid Steel would even consider hurting him, but because I didn’t want Damon tobecome too attached. How could I tell my son that when we left town in less than three months, we’d never see Steel again?

Children didn’t understand loss.

Or maybe mothers didn’t.

“Goodness. So many questions. Let’s see if I can handle this. Yes. Absolutely yes. For a little while. Yes, and we’ll see because we need to watch out for his tummy. Lastly, I don’t know if that’s possible. How’s that?”

His eyes were now squished almost shut, peering at the rearview mirror with an expression that his father used to give me. Great. Now I was replaying both my past and my fantasy future.

“Okay. I think. But wait. We have to worry about Steel’s tummy?”

My kid had the deepest baritone for a seven-year-old I’d ever heard. He was going to be a little heartbreaker when he grew up. Ugh. That was way too far into the future to be thinking about.

“Uh, no. I was saying…”

Thankfully, my phone rang. Maybe not. Seeing Brenda’s name pop up on my cellphone created a wave of butterflies and for all the wrong reasons.

“Hey!” At least there was excitement in her voice, which allowed me to take a deep breath. She was the kind of woman who presented everything good and bad in her voice.

“Hey, Miss Brenda. How is the crew?”

“Missing you. Eric is being… a pain.”

She meant they wished I was there to protect them from his wrath.