Page 16 of Two Purple Gloves

I don’t bat her away because, honestly, I can’t count how many times she’s copped a feel over the years, it’s just run of the mill at this point. “I’m getting wrinkles,” I argue.

“You’re really not, but even if you were, that’s a completely natural thing and would make you no less beautiful. Lis, you’re a complete smoke-show.”

Nel nods in agreement and my eyes burn. “I—” I hang my head as I try to voice my biggest worry without sounding completely pathetic. “I’m worried Harry isn’t attracted to me anymore.”

They both frown at me. “What would make you think that?”

“Has Harry said something?” Nel asks, concern on her face.

“No,” I say sadly. “The opposite, he tells me I’m beautiful.”

“Then what’s put this in your head?”

“We haven’t had sex since Mary was born,” I mumble out very quickly, but they still manage to hear me.

“But she’s ten months old,” Rhiannon says, blinking.

“Yes, thank you, Rhiannon. I am aware.”

“I don’t really want to go into too fine a detail because it’s my brother we’re talking about but, how is this possible?” Nel looks like she’s trying to do mental arithmetic.

“Well, with the boys we were basically waiting for the all-clear after the six weeks rest period to jump each other but after Mary I felt like I needed a little time to recover. Then this year has just been awful with sickness bugs and colds and general grossness from the boys’ school and Mary’s playgroups and what not. Then Harry’s been working away on that big project he had in Germany. Mum decided to come and stay while he was gone at one point but didn’t leave when he came back. I don’t know,” I sigh. “There’s just been a lot going on, but I feel like if he really wanted me, we would have made the time.”

The girls look at each other, a silent conversation I’m trying to interpret when they turn their eyes back to me.

“Have you talked to Harry about this?” Rhiannon asks gently.

“No,” I say grumpily. “I don’t want to bring all the changes to my body to his attention.”

Nel exhales a laugh without humour and we both look at her as she tilts her head to give me a sympathetic smile. “You sound like me.” When I just frown at her, she explains. “Last year, when Jake and I had to share the hotel room, but we weren’t together yet—”

“Because you had a Christmas like a frickin’ Hallmark movie,” I say, smirking at her.

“But with a lot more kinky Santa and his little elf sex,” Rhiannon adds with mischief.

Nel rolls her eyes. “Remind me not to drink too much around you guys again, apparently I get too chatty.” We both grin and she gives us a berating pout but her eyes are smiling. “Anyway,” she says pointedly. “When we were in the room, he called me Nelly-Belly and I just kind of snapped and told him not to call me that and then I had to explain why, and I felt mortified that I had to bring to his attention that I had a big belly. But the thing is, he’d never even thought about it, Lis, and when I did point it out, it just made him angry that I’d ever been made to feel less than because of my body. I bet you anything that Harry won’t see what you’re seeing and even after you say something, he’ll just be horrified that you’re not seeing your beauty as he does.”

I blink several times to clear the sting in my eyes and swallow over the lump forming in my throat because I know what she’s saying is true. Harry would feel terrible that I was getting myself so worked up about this. “I should talk to him,” I sigh.

“Well now, there’s an idea,” Rhiannon says with an exaggerated eye roll. I shove at her shoulder, but she pulls me in for a hug. “Honey, you are seriously beautiful, belly flap or not.”

I laugh into her neck. “Thank you.”

We break away and I hug Nel as she tells me I have nothing to worry about. “Your pictures are stunning, Lis. Have a little faith.”

“Thanks, Nel. I appreciate you.”

“I honestly think it’ll be a weight off both of you if you just sit down and have a chat.”

I nod before it clicks what she’s actually said. “Both of us?”

She looks away and says nothing.

“What has Harry said to you?”

“Nothing,” she answers too quickly.

“Nel,” I warn.