Page 54 of Two Purple Gloves

Lucas and Oscar both whine and moan and beg for more time. Mandy’s little boy, Andrew is fast asleep on her lap and her daughter, Billie—a couple years older than Lucas—leans on her shoulder, yawning. Mary is wide awake, giggling at Luke as he pulls faces at her, and the twins were put to bed an hour ago.

“No more bedtime extensions,” I back my wife up—because I’m ready to be child-free for the evening. “Up you go, teeth cleaned, pyjamas on, and we’ll come up and say goodnight.”

“I think we’re going to head back to the hotel,” Mandy says, gently nudging Andrew awake.

“Yes, I think it’s time I get Pamela back,” Glenn looks to his wife with bemusement.

Pam is sat between Hen and Cami, the three of them have been talking and drinking and my best friend’s mother is smiling and laughing in a way I’ve never seen before. It’s disconcerting. The gin glaze in her eyes is a sure indication that she’s ready to head out.

The Partridge family all start gathering up their gifts and belongings to load into Glenn’s car for him to drive them home, they say goodbye with much more love than they’d greeted everyone. When Glen drives away, Jake and Nel are still here.

“Uh, you guys seem to have missed your ride,” I say with a frown as they stand staring at me in the hallway, like the creepy twins fromThe Shining. “What?”

“Where’s Lis?” Nel asks.

“Upstairs, putting the boys to bed,” I say with suspicion, hoisting Mary further up in my arms where she immediately starts grabbing at my cheeks.

“Dadadadada,” she garbles.

“That’s right, Mama’s putting your brothers to bed and then she’s coming back for you, you gotta sleep.”

She slaps my cheeks and giggles. This girl’s a psycho. Footsteps have us all turning to the stairs to see two gorgeous legs on their way to meet us. “Hey, what’s going on?”

“I don’t know, Tweedle-Dum and Tweedle-Dee cornered me, asking where you were.”

As Lisa comes to stand next to me, Nel and Jake with those conspiratory smiles again. They’re an annoyingly cute couple.

“We have another gift for you,” Nel says.

“You guys already gave us the theatre tickets,” Lisa complains.

“That’s why we said another gift,” Jake adds and Lisa and I both glare at him for his snarkiness, making him bite down on a laugh. He reaches into his pocket and hands over a small black card that looks like a credit card. I know it can’t be though, with all due respect to Jake, I make more money than him.

“What’s this?” Lisa asks taking the card.

“It’s the key to your hotel room,” Nel answers.

We both look up at them with wide eyes. “You what?”

“We spoke to reception and they agreed to clean the room even though it’s Christmas day—”

“Because Jake flirted with her.” Nel nods in agreement to her own statement.

“Baby, I told you I wasn’t flirting.”

“Mmhmm,” Nel hums an unconvinced agreement but the smirk on her lips tells me she isn’t all that bothered by my friend’s methods of persuasion.

“Anyway, they’ve cleaned our room out, we’re staying here tonight and you two should go and…” He waves his hand between us, lost for the word he’s looking for.

“Get busy,” Nel helpfully fills in for him.

There are a couple moments of silence as Lisa and I stare down at the golden ticket…I mean, black card. “But Mary,” Lisa says as I’m already handing off the little cherub to Nel.

“Mary loves us,” Jake says. “She will be just as happy with us feeding her tonight as she would with you.”

Ouch. But true.

“I’ve got to do breakfast in the morning—”