Page 79 of The F*ck-It List

“Ooh, could I grab a brownie too?” She points to the last square of chocolate brownie, and I hesitate because I had planned on saving one for August, underestimating how quickly they’d go. “August would love it,” she says, still smiling down at the chocolate slab.

Did I say that out loud? I look down at the black americano in my hand before sliding it onto the counter. “Uh, August?” I ask the pretty stranger, feeling this twist of unease in my chest.

“Yeah,” she smiles at me, friendly and unaware of the dread I’m trying to swallow down like a dry pill. “My fiancé. He lives just across the road.” She points of the window to my boyfriend’s front door.

“Oh shit,” I hear Cas whisper behind me.

My eyes find a giant rock on her left hand, a yellow diamond, something I would have chosen myself and one I recognise from the photograph of August’s aunt Jemma in his kitchen. This woman is wearing his aunt’s ring, she called August her fiancé, but my brain can’t seem to make this information slot together.

I feel a presence at my back and Cas’s hand wraps around my lower arm, squeezing gently. Everyone’s surprise when this woman came into the café starts to make sense and I look around the locals, the people who by now have heard August and I are together, and they all know her. They all know this woman who so casually introduces herself as his fiancé and not one of them thought to tell me the guy I’d been parading around town with has a fucking fiancé.

My chest squeezes so tight, I’m not sure I’ll ever take a breath again. The woman’s face falls concern pinching her features. “Oh my god, are you okay?”

“Yes,” I wheeze. “I forgot something.”

I put her coffee down and walk out of the café, trusting Cas will manage without me. I make it to my sofa before my knees give way. Pulling Pedro to my middle and doubling over to rock as tears start burning at my eyes. Getting my heartbroken wasn’t on my list but it seems it was one item August helped cross off anyway.

twenty-six

No. 4: Leave London

August

Iwake up with a headache and a weight on my chest that could anchor the village. Fuck, this is bad. This is so, so bad. I had plans of waking up early and going to the café to help Bea set up for today. I laid awake through both of my alarms, unsure how to handle the inevitable fall out from Meghan’s return. I must have fallen asleep again, bone deep tired, because I woke up after nine and even after a scolding hot shower, I feel like death.

I hear the front door close, and I throw a t-shirt on over my jeans to jog downstairs. Maybe she left, slunk back to whatever depths of hell she’s been hiding in, and I won’t have to deal with this shit. But my luck has never been that good. I hear her moving around in thekitchen and I head in that direction with a slump to my shoulders and a silent prayer to the ceiling.

Meghan is sat at my kitchen table, a sight so familiar and yet so foreign. I’d rather be seeing a mop of pink hair hunched over a book, yellow fluffy socks, and dancing coffee cup pyjamas. I always thought Megs was beautiful; long light brown hair and dark eyes, a pretty smile and stylish clothes. But she’s the last person in the world I want to see sitting at my kitchen table, sipping from a to-go cup. A to-go cup. She’s been out to get coffee. There’s only one coffee shop in the village. Meghan went to The Reading Nook Café.

“Where did you get that?” I bark, making her jump so much coffee swills out through the spout in the lid.

“Jesus, August,” she says with a surprised laugh, placing a hand over her chest. “You scared the crap out of me.” She’s wearing Jemma’s ring, on her fucking left hand.

Anger consumes me, my jaw tightening and my fists clenching. “Where. Did. You. Get. That?” I repeat.

She looks down to her coffee with a frown. “This? The cute little place across the road. How long has that been there? It’s adorable.”

“Did you speak to anyone?” I ask through gritted teeth.

“Yes,” she says slowly, like I’m being an idiot. A tone I’m too familiar with from her and it makes my teeth itch. “The woman behind the counter, she was sweet, bit odd though, she kind of spaced out when I said I wanted to buy you a brownie.”

“You told her you know me?” My chest might concave.

“Yeah,” she giggles, unaware or uncaring she’s ruining my life. For the second time. She wiggles her ringed finger at me. “I thought it wasfun to take advantage of someone around here not knowing who I am.”

“Fucking hell, Meghan,” I seethe at her. “What the fuck are you doing here? Why are you determined to shit all over everything good in my life?”

Her face falls. “August—”

“I don’t have time for this.” I turn on my heel and head to the door, slamming it behind me and sprinting across the road. I didn’t stop to put shoes on, and I feel the sharp points of the tiny stones in the road through the soft cotton of my socks.

I can’t see Bea through the window and I’m too worried to question the fact Cas is behind the counter. The door swings open rather violently when I push it and every head in the room turns to me. Locals occupy every available table, some of them staring at me in shock, some giving me the stink eye, while others refuse to make eye contact. Yep, shit went down.

“Where is she?” I ask Cas, not bothering to hide the distress in my voice.

Cas pulls their blank expression into a fixed smile that does nothing to hide the murder in their neon green lined eyes. “Hello sir, how can I help you today?”

“Where is she?”