Page 30 of Psychotic Nightmares

This is the happiest I have seen her all week. Although she hasn’t eaten yet, maybe I can get Nico to convinceher, either that or make a complete fool of myself.

Fuck it, if I can get a smile from her then I guess making a fool of myself won’t be too bad.

“Nico, get my phone and we can play FFR.” I sigh and point to my jacket slung over the back of the chair. His little eyes light up. I love seeing him like this. I hope he never has to go through the torment I did at that age.

I would do anything to keep my child smiling like he is.

Anything.

“Really?” He exclaims. “Are you going to join in, new auntie?”

Her brows furrowin confusion, eyes meeting mine I exhaled slowly.

“Nico, go and shut the door first.” I mumble. They may be my found family, but some secrets must be kept a secret. And this is one of them. “This is mine and Nico's top secret way of choosing what to have for dinner,” I tell Natalie while Nico runs to close the door. “You mustn’t tell a soul.” I wink. I shouldn’t be flirting with her. I should be hating her. Idohate her. But if doing this will cheer her up for Julian's sake I will do it.I’d do anything for Julian, even if it means breaking my own heart. The only people above him are my son and my ex.

“Papa, here.” Nico passes me my phone as he jumps up and down with excitement. I remember the first time we listened to this song and he loved it so much I had to play it on repeat for a week. I find the song and hold my phone out to Natalie. “Press play then pause it when the chorus comes on.” Nico instructs her.

“Okay.” She chuckles and presses play.

“Trust me, you’ll know.” I tell her, then me and Nico get in position, normally I would just pause it on whatever I fancy that day, or what Nico had been begging for that week. But now it’s down to Natalie.

Fast Food Rockers blast through the phonesspeaker as soon as she hits play. She laughs as the lyrics get sung.

“A pizza hut, a pizza hut, Kentucky fried chicken and a pizza hut.” Nico sings along as we do the dance. Natalie pauses it on the very last chorus right as we do the pose for McDonalds. “Yayyyy I get to have nuggies.”Nico jumps around the room, still full of energy even though we danced nearly the full dance.

“Lucky, that was the last chorus.” I exhale and hold my hand out for my phone.

“Then I would have had to play it again, I have never heard that song before.” Natalie says through her laughter. “And nice dance moves.” She puts the phone into my hand, my skin tingles when her fingers graze mine.

No, don’t go there Dante. She’s Julian's girlfriend.

“Are you going to have nuggies too?” Nico questions her. “And strawberry milkshake ismy favourite drink. What’s yours?” He doesn’t give her chance to answer the first two questions before jumping back on the bed beside her and asking her what her favourite food is. Then favourite colour, and animal.

She chuckles slightly, wraps her arm over his shoulders as he snuggles into her. “My favourite drink?” She puts a finger against her chin like she is thinking. “My favourite drink is,” she taps her finger. “Is hotcocoa.”

“I LOVE HOT COCOA!” I flinch as he jumps and almost headbutts her. “Whoops, sorry.” He cuddles back up to her. “Have you ever tried Papa’s? He makes it with cream and marshmallows, and when I’m good he will even put extra chocolate on top. But I’m not good, my nannies say I’m trouble.”

“I heard.” She tries to hold back her laughter. “I definitely think you are the king of pranks now.” She ruffles his hair. “And no. I haven’t tried Papa’s hot cocoa yet. But maybe one day.”

As they carry on talking and Nico managing to get her favourite McDonalds meal out of her, I quickly text Pea with our order. I sit on the chair in the corner of the room while watching them.

I hate her after what she did. But why does my heart still beat for her?

ten

Natalie

Just as Nico is telling me another story about school, Pea comes in with a bag of food. “Nuggies have arrived, your highness.” She bows playfully to Nico. “And you,” she points to me. “You best eat too” she digs into the bag and pulls out a wrap, the one I said was my favourite. “Because Bull has threatened that if you don’t eat something by the end of the day he is going to force feed you by putting in a feeding tube.”

“He wouldn’t really do that would he?” I laugh nervously. Dante tries to hide his laugh behind his hand. I glare at him, making him laugh more.

“PEA WHERE'S MY NUGGIES?” Nicojumps up and down on his knees, his hands lay across my shins and I wince slightly as he shakes my weakened body. God, I need to know where this kid gets his energy.

“Careful little one.” Pea removes his hands and he sits back beside me. I have taken some quick glances over to Dante, each time I have he has been watching us closely. His eyes hold a different emotion each time too - the most prominent one, hatred.

Does he not trust me with his child? Does he still hate me? I’m not sure.

I look across to him again, his eyes burn into mine. There’s something in his expression I can’t explain. He sits with his right leg propped up on his left with his foot tapping against the air around it. His elbow leans against the arm of the chair as he leans his chin against his fingers. His gaze is intense and so very fucking familiar it gives me a headache trying to think. I really don’t know what to think about this man.