Page 70 of Psychotic Nightmares

“Of course we had to return most of the money when Pa wanted her back.” Ma continues, unaware of the unhinged thoughts I have. I want her blood to spill. “But by then Ernesto had his fill with baby Anya. He preferred boys anyway, so we used Gustin to pay off the rest of the debt. That’s when we realised that we could get more money for the boys.” She points with the spoon to the twins. “These, well they’re our best sellers. The women love them more than the men do.” And there’s more people to add my list, my own personal list of monsters to burn.

“You disgust me.” I sneer.

“Idisgustyou?” She stands and starts walking towards me,perfect, all I have to do is keep her attention long enough for Bull to get the boys to safety. “If you never got pregnant I would still have my husband's attention.” She stumbles a little as she passes the chair where the boys are sitting. “You filthy fucking whore. You stole my husband away from me. All you girls did.”

“I was five!” I exclaim. “Your husband should have fought his urges. You could have put us back in the system. But instead you used and abused us.”Come on, just a little further.

“Backinto the system. Oh Natalie.” She chuckles. “We never officially fostered you all. Just you, Justine and Brandon.” She twists the syringe between her fingers. “After that we were given the kids or found them in the street. Made promises to their birth parents that they’ll have a better life with us on the farm than with them on the streets.” She laughs manically. “I mean, who will ever come looking for the missing kid of a dead druggie.”

“We’ll find out soon.” I grit my teeth.

“What do you mean?”

“Pa’s dead.” I straighten up. “I killed him. And soon you’ll join him. So then who will come looking for the boys if you die? No-one. Just like no-one looked for me, just like no-one looked for Justine. But those boys will be safe away from you.” Her face twists in anger.

“LIAR!” She screams and pounces for me. One hand grasps my hair, ripping some from my scalp. The other tries to stab me with the drug filled syringe. I manage to loosen her grip, grab both arms, and spin her so she is facing the wall. Keeping her there with my shoulder against the top of her spine. The syringe bounces off my sneaker and rolls until it is stopped by a crack in the floor.

“Bull, go.” I order and nod toward the twins. The second one is now unconscious laying against his brother. Bull covers them both with some frayed blankets laying on the back of the chairs and picks them up gently. I can see his hands trembling from here as he starts to make his way back to the truck. “Pea, don’t jump in unless I need you okay?”

“You got it boss, just throw me the signal.” She puts her thumb up.I guess that’s the signal.

“Hey, bring them back!” Ma calls after Bull . “OI!” She struggles against my grip and once I hear the truck doors close I let her go.The boys are safe, our goal is complete. Now to do one last thing.

I take a relieved breath, regretting the decision to take my attention from Ma as she manages to shove off the wall, making me trip over some takeout boxes left on the floor and bite back my scream as a fork stabs into my back. Ma starts punching, again, and again, and again in her alcohol and drug fuelled rage. I’ll take every punch she has to offer as long as the boys are safe.

“You fucking whore.” Ma punches me again, this time in the face rather than my stomach. “He was meant to have been with me last night, not you!” She screams at me. It’s the day after Pa raped me for the first time and Ma just found the blood on my sheets from where he took my virginity.

“Ma, stop please.” I cry, another punch coming down on my jaw, dislodging it from its socket.

“You, all you filthy sluts keep trying to steal my husband from me. Wandering around with your tiny bodies and flawless skin. I must make you ugly so he wont want you anymore.” She spits in my face, pulling her knuckle dusters from her pocket. “He’s my husband, not yours. MINE!”

I can’t speak, I can’t explain to her that I didn’t want him to do what he did. Instead I whimper as she breaks my skin over and over again with the spikes of her chosen weapon.

“Tell your partner to bring back my money makers!” She screams now, pulling me out from my past and back into the present. I taste the blood from where she’s split my lip open. My nose is painful and hard to breathe through, letting me know she has broken it - again. Her punches weaken as time goes on.

“THEY ARE CHILDREN!” I cry. “We were all children. You found us when we were at our lowest and took advantage of that.” I somehow manage to find the strength to roll us both over. She struggles beneath me. Standing, I bend over her, pulling the knife from the pocket of Julian's jacket. “Time for you to join Pa in hell.” I don’t have the energy to drag out Ma’s death. She won’t be awake forlong anyway, not with all the drugs and alcohol in her system. Pea is still standing in the same spot, her fists clenching and unclenching the only movement I can see.

“You liar.” She mumbles. The heroin she injected into herself startingto take effect.

“You believe what you want. Ma.”

“I should have killed you back then.”

“I wish you did.” I hold my scar from where she shot me in my leg, “just a shame you’re a shit shot and I had the will to survive.” Bending my knees, I lean over her and grab the syringe she dropped. “Who was this for? You look like you’ve had your fill.”

“He wouldn’t stop crying about the pain, it was giving me a headache.” She groans.

She was going to drug up a six year old!

My jaw ticks. I don’t think through my next actions as I grab Ma’s foot and stab the needle between her toes, she’s already high enough that I know this final injection will cause an overdose.

“Natalie.” She laughs. “I always hated you.”

“Ditto.”

I stand, kicking Ma away from me as I do. Then signal to Pea, she deserves to have her fun before Ma dies from the drugs.

Skipping into the room with the baseball bat kept by the front door, she swings a bat into Ma's jaw, the crack echoing throughout the house, followed by the thud of her body hitting the floor.