Page 89 of Psychotic Nightmares

“Please let me finish,” he sighs and puts Nattie-Grace into her bassinet beside the chair. “I know I say it a lot. But this is a personal apologyto you.” I sitbeside him. “I love her, Grace. I am in love with Anya, but I know she's too good for a fucked up boy like me.” I raise an eyebrow at him. “She’s asleep, I can swear.” I let out a quiet chuckle. “What do I do?”

“I think you should tell her.” I pat my shoulder and he lays his head against it, I lift my hand and stroke his hair. “It’s best to be honest when it comes to feelings.”

“You think?” He sniffs.

“I know so. I didn’t tell Julian I felt for a long time, I missed out on years with him because of it.” I smile. “Plus, we all know how you feel.”

“You do?”

“We do.” I sigh, “and you’re not a fucked up boy Gustin. You’re a young man who has had a troubled past, but has a bright future ahead of him.” I spin to face him. Holding his face in my hands. “I want you to listen to me and listen well, okay? I am so, so proud of you.” Tears springto his eyes. “Weare all so proud.” I grab some tissue and wipe his eyes. “Don’t let your past define your future. Be the man you need to be for your baby. For yourself. I will always be here to assist you in any way I can. I love you, Roo.”

“I love you too, Kanga.” He sobs and wraps his arms around me. “You’re the best mother figure I could have ever asked for.”

“And you’re the best person I could ever wish to be with my child.”

I rock him as he cries, letting out years of trauma. Years of torture. This is the worst it’s ever been since he’s lived here. But with all the sleepless nights for the past few weeks, the stress of waiting for the DNA results and making sure Anya is okay with her newfound confidence, it’s taken a toll on the teen.

I’m still rocking a sniffling Gustin when Dante arrives along with all the kids, Bull following close behind carrying all the bags.

“What’s happened?” Anya rushes over, falling to her knees in front of us. “Are you okay?” This is the first time seeing him cry and she’s scared.Understandable.

“I’m alright.” He sniffs putting his brave face back on for her, reaching down to pull her up for a cuddle. “Can we talk?” She nods and they walk into their room.

“Auntie Grace, catch.” I barely catch the rubber ball that comes flying towards my face by Iggy. He and his brother Rory look so much healthier now. Bull got the adoption papers signed a few months ago, sorted by someone they call the big boss. I don’t know who he is, but I thank him for keeping the boys with their dad. “Whoops sorry!” He jumps on me, literally, along with Rory and Nico.

“Careful boys.” Dante and Bull sayin unison.

“They’re fine.” I start tickling them all. All three fall to the floor in fits of giggles. God I love my little family, they may not be perfect, but they’re mine. When I look around for my best friend, Bull tells me that she’s gone with Julian to make sure he gets all the right toppings on the pizza. I just roll my eyes.

“Typical.” I tut. Then chuckle. “Julian is actually pretty annoyed at her, so that’s going to be fun.”

“Oh, you mean spilling the beans about you to his mom?” I nod. “Ha, yeah that wasn’t her.” He smiles smugly. “That was me.”

“What?” Dante chokes on his water. Almost spitting it all over me. “Sorry, kitten.”

“She called me old. And Julian pissed me off when he… you know.”

“Seriously?” I suck my teeth. “All you bandits are so petty. It’s hard to believe you’re adults at times.”

“Hey.” Dante pouts, looking hurt.

“Not you baby.” I purse my lips for a kiss. “I think me and you are the only ones who are actually grown up about things.”

“You were the one that messaged Pea to tell her the gossip as soon as you managed to get thirty seconds away from these two to pee. And you say you’re a grown up.” Bull states.

“It wasn’t gossiping. It was informing my best friend of a decision I made.”

“Well, she gossipped to me.” He snorts. “For a fullhourabout how…” I put my hand up.

“I know, she gave me the same spiel when we went out for coffee the next day.” I scrunchup my nose when she was questioning me on who went first, how many times did I O, how big are they etcetera etcetera. And with her being my first proper friend, I didn’t know whether I could confide in her about those sorts of things.

Of course, she ended up getting the answers from me, her relentless questions were giving me a headache - although it was probably from the lack of sleep, I think blaming her is better.

The three boys finally stop their mini tickle fight between themselves and decide to gang up on me, along with Bull , and pin me down tickling my feet and hips. Dante standing there watching with a smile.

I fucking love his smile. I love his eyes, I love his softhearted personality, his tenderness for his child.

I love him.