Eyes linger on me for a second too long before sliding off quickly, like I am something indecent that they do not want to acknowledge fully. Confusion starts building inside me slowly, mixed with a growing sense of isolation that tightens my chest and makes it harder to breathe steadily.
I overhear my name mentioned in a hushed tone behind me as I fill my bottle, paired with words that hit me like sharp, unexpected jabs to the gut. "Iris? Yeah, after that video thing at her school." One voice says casually, as if discussing the weather.
Another responds with a bored, almost dismissive tone. "Why would they even hire her?"
The words cut deep into me, stirring up the same wave of humiliation and shame I felt back at university when the video spread like wildfire. It feels like that nightmare is happening all over again, that exposure turning people against me without me having done anything to deserve it.
Fear and shame flood through my entire body, making my hands shake so badly that water spills over the edge of my bottle.
I keep my head down as I hurry back to my desk, pretending I did not hear a single word of their conversation. But the emotions swirl inside me relentlessly, leaving me feeling more exposed and judged than ever before.
I sit there and reread the same paragraph of my article three times in a row, the words on the screen blurring together without me processing even one of them.
Hazel approaches my desk a few minutes later, her expression carefully neutral, the kind people wear when they’re trying to stay professional about something uncomfortable.
She leans slightly against the edge of my desk. “Iris, can I have a word with you for a moment?” She asks quietly. “Maybe in my office?”
My stomach tightens immediately, but I nod and push back from my chair. “Sure.”
I stand, trying to keep my voice casual. “Is there something wrong?” A small, nervous laugh slips out. “Did I mess up an article?”
“No.” Hazel says quickly, already turning toward the hallway. “Nothing like that.”
Then her eyes flick back to my face. She pauses.
“Iris… what happened to your cheek?”
My hand instinctively rises toward the small cut there.
“Oh! This?” I force a light shrug. “It’s nothing. Just caught it on a cabinet door this morning.”
Hazel studies me for a second longer, like she’s deciding whether to push it. But finally she nods and gestures down the hall.
“Alright.” She says. “Come on. Let’s talk in my office.”
I follow her down the short corridor that leads away from the open newsroom. The quiet hum of keyboards and muted conversations fades behind us.
She closes the door gently once we’re inside her office, shutting out the noise of the newsroom. We sit across from each other. For a moment, she studies me carefully.
“Your work has been solid.” She says reassuringly. “I want to make that clear first. I just wanted to check in with you personally. How are you doing?”
“I’m doing okay.” I reply automatically.
Even though the truth sits heavy in my chest like a stone.
Hazel tilts her head slightly. “Have you noticed people talking more than usual today?” She asks. Her gaze remains gentle but direct. “Or… anything else?”
The knot in my stomach tightens immediately. So I wasn’t imagining it.
“Yeah.” I admit quietly. I glance down at my hands. “I’ve noticed. What’s going on?”
My throat tightens. “Did I do something to upset the team?”
Hazel sighs softly and leans forward in her chair. Her expression is openly sympathetic now.
“No.” She says gently. “This isn’t about anything you did.” She folds her hands together. “Someone in the office has been spreading rumors about why we hired you.”
The words land like cold water.