Page 288 of Rush

“I can’t. He’s gay,” she deadpans.

This time, I snort.

“You won’t know unless you ask,” I say once I catch my breath. “And worst case? Take unpaid leave. I’ll spot you.”

“Babe, I don’t want your money. I’ve got a decent amount tucked away. Even if the gallery job falls through, one of Madame Sinclair’s friends asked for a piece, so word’s getting out.”

“See?” I grin. “Perry needs you more than you need him.”

“Alright,” she says, smirking. “Let’s just hope our date goes better than your not-date with Brody.”

I sigh.

“Sheesh. That bad?” she asks. “Want to talk about it?”

“There’s not much to say. He asked me to be his girlfriend. I said no. I ruined his birthday. Now he wants space.”

“Aww, babe.” Her brows knit together. “You turned him down? I thought things were going really well.”

“They were.”

“Then why’d you say no?”

I look at her.

She rolls her eyes.

“I know,” I mutter. “I’m dumb.”

“You’re not,” she says instantly.

She hesitates, then adds quietly, “I don’t really know what it’s like—I’ve never been in love. Not like that.”

There’s a sadness in her voice that makes my chest ache. I know why she’s never let herself fall. Years of parents choosing addiction over their kids. Of learning it hurts less to expect nothing. She’s built armor out of situationships, convincing herself it’s safer not to want.

And in some ways I can relate.

“So,” she says softly, “you really won’t give it a try with Broderick?”

“He’s so good, Riley. Like…perfect.” I swallow. “And it doesn’t feel right to start something real with him when my whole heart isn’t in it.”

She gives me a look.

“Hey—you said no judgment.”

“Even after all this time,” she says gently, “it’s still him?”

Alex.

I nod.

“But what about Madison?”

“He says they’re not together.” I exhale, the weight of it settling in my chest.

“So, what do you want to do?”

It’s the million-dollar question.