Page 25 of Fish Out of Water

“I don’t have any trouble getting dates,” Jake said stiffly.

“Really? That’s a surprise.”

“Just because you struggle doesn’t mean everyone else does, too.”

“What makes you think I struggle?”

“Because you smell like a wet dog and your shirt is soaked through with that nasty beach sludge.”

Robbie followed Jake’s gaze down to his chest. “It’s not as if I look like this all the time, and you know that, smartass. So, tell me, what makes you think I struggle to find dates?”

This time, Jake answered with a question of his own: “How long have you had that dating profile up?”

Robbie didn’t respond immediately, instead glancing back at the dog, who’d finally settled down and curled up in the backseat. “A while,” he admitted, turning back around in his seat to buckle. “There aren’t many guys around here I haven’t already dated or rejected.”

“And that includes me now.”

“Of course. You’re insane if you seriously think I’d date you.”

Jake kept his eyes on the road as he let out a pitying sigh. “I would say you need to lower your standards, but I think that goes without mentioning. If you rejectedme,God knows what other perfectly acceptable men you’re rejecting.”

“I don’t need to lower my standards,” Robbie countered. “Youneed to realize that you’re not the catch you think you are. So you find men horny enough to let you take them homeand fuck them, big deal. Anyone can do that. It’s just that not everyone wants to.”

“I haven’t found anyone willing to do that out here,” Jake muttered. “Not yet, anyway.”

Robbie smirked. “Keep searching.”

“You think I’ll find someone?”

“Maybe. Or you’ll chase your tail until you get bored and give up.”

“I don’t get bored that easily.”

“Then you’re denser than I thought. You can’t bend Eventide to your will. You’re going to figure that out eventually, and the sooner the better.”

“But you can. I guess it’s the money, huh?”

Robbie fell silent after that, but Jake didn’t believe for a single second that he’d won that argument. He knew as well as Robbie did that there was no point in arguing in circles. It only made both of them angrier.

After a while, Robbie finally spoke again; the first to break the long silence. “Turn left here.”

Jake turned down Cowrie Street, where cute little houses with flower beds and picket fences lined it on either side. “We must be getting close.”

“Pretty close. We’re looking for a green house with a white fence.”

“And you’re sure they’ll be home?”

“Yes.”

“And they’ll want the little rat back?”

“The puppy? Yeah, they will.”

As if to bolster Robbie’s certainty, Cooper stood up in the backseat and perched his front paws on the center console, panting in Jake’s ear.

“Get that thing back where he belongs before he makes me crash the car,” Jake told Robbie.

“Down, boy,” Robbie commanded. “Lie down.”