Page 36 of Fish Out of Water

“YouknewI was going out tonight.”

“I didn’t know you were coming here.”

“Of course I was!” Jake took a breath. “Of course I was,” he repeated more quietly—not that it mattered, with the music loud enough to obfuscate any shouting.

“Listen, I’m just trying to get a refill on my drink. I’m more than happy to leave you alone after that.”

“Good. Please do.” Jake sighed heavily, twirling his empty glass around and around by the napkin it rested on. He felt a tap on his thigh and turned to his left, grateful for any distraction.

“Ready to go?” Ryan’s eyes twinkled, and the tension Jake was holding from his conversation with that other man melted away.

“Yeah, let’s get out of here.”

Robbie turned as Jake got up. “Have fun,” he said, offering a short, emotionless smile.

“Go fuck yourself.”

Outside, Jake was able to breathe freely and think clearly again. And he had a hot guy taking him home. Life couldn’t get much better than this. Robbie didn’t know what he was missing out on.

“So, who wasthat?” Ryan asked, leading Jake down the sidewalk.

“I told you, a friend,” Jake said.

“He didn’t sound like much of a friend when you were talking to him.”

“Uh, acquaintances then. I don’t know. I know him. We talk, we volunteer together. I guess we’re not really friends.”

Ryan gave a sly smile. “You’ve really never fucked? Because you’ve got that tension with him.”

“No,” Jake said. “He’s not my type, and I’m not his. We… kissed…once. But I was drunk. It wasn’t anything, really.” He began to walk a little faster, dragging Ryan along with him, even though Ryan was the only one who knew where they were going. “I barely even remember it.”

“Hey, I’m not trying to make you uncomfortable,” Ryan said. “I was just curious. A lot of guys have weird histories with their exes.”

“We’re not exes,” Jake insisted. “Let’s just drop it, okay? The last thing I wanna think about tonight is that guy.”

When they got to Ryan’s house, a charming little brick cottage tucked in the middle of a row of similar houses, Ryan unlocked the door, pulled Jake inside, and pinned him against the wall, his lips pressing against Jake’s.

Jake had missed this. He missed the unfamiliar smell of a stranger’s house, the strange touch that he got to experience for the first time and never again, and the nervous tension that made the air dance around them.

Ryan’s hand slid down Jake’s stomach, feeling him up as the other hand worked to unbutton his shirt. It felt good to be wanted again, and Jake let his eyelids flutter closed, allowing the moment to sink in. In his mind’s eye, he saw Robbie, his gentle fingers pressing into his arm as he led Jake home, his soft lips and his firm body pulling away as Jake tried to hang onto him.

He smelled Robbie’s fruity cocktail, saw his cold smile, and heard the teasing lilt in his voice. He could feel Robbie there, watching them; a voyeur in the shadows.

Jake’s eyes snapped open. He glanced around the dark house, but there was no one else there. Of course no one else was there. He tried to close his eyes again, but Robbie reappeared, replacing Ryan entirely.

“I can’t do this,” he said, sliding out from Ryan’s hold.

“What?” Ryan’s eyes were wide and glassy. Whether it was from alcohol or lust or sheer surprise at Jake’s sudden turnaround, Jake couldn’t be certain.

“I’m sorry, I just can’t do this. I’m not… I’m not in the right headspace. I’m really sorry, Ryan. I never do this. I?—”

“Hey, it’s fine.” Ryan held up his hands, keeping his distance. “I guess maybe I moved too quickly for you?”

“No, I’m usually fine with that.” Jake shook his head. “I just have a lot on my mind tonight. I need to leave. Sorry. I shouldn’t have… I don’t know. Sorry to waste your time.”

He rushed back to the door and slipped out, leaving Ryan alone in his quiet little house, now with no guy and no better prospects for the night. He practically ran all the way back to the bar, not giving himself time or space to think about what had just happened.

He had to get this out of his system. He had to getRobbieout of his system.