Page 58 of Fish Out of Water

“Maybe so. Go on, tell me more about your own dysfunctional family.”

Jake took a deep breath. “My sister’s trans. She came out to the family when she was twelve, and a few years later I came out as gay. You can imagine how hard it was for our parents to deal with all that.”

A concerned, cautious expression clouded Robbie’s eyes. “They were supportive though?”

“100 percent. That wasn’t the problem. Mom and Dad did the best they could in a time when they had almost no help from the outside world. The problem was, well the problem was just that: they didn’t have any support of their own, and so they had a hell of a time making sure their kids were happy and healthy and not hate-crimed by some random school bully on any given day.”

“That must have been difficult.”

“We managed.” Jake glanced out the window. A couple walked down the street, hand-in-hand. “But Alex had a lot more school-related issues than I did—teacher problems, that kind ofshit—and that really didn’t change until she went to college. So naturally, she got more of our parents’ time and energy, and I just kept doing what I was doing.”

“Causing trouble?”

“No, smartass. I was a pretty good kid in school. But I was also pretty independent, and I really thought I had everything under control until I got to college and learned to party. They finally paid attention to me, but it was only to try to intervene and keep me from destroying my life. I think they still believe I’m on a path to destruction, so they’re looking at every little thing I do as being… wrong. Or a cry for help, maybe. I don’t know.” Jake shook his head. “Well, I’ve told you way too much about my family, and you let me meet yours, so I guess we’re even now, huh?”

“I suppose so.” Robbie’s expression softened. “I’m sorry about your family troubles, but I think your sister is right: you should talk to your parents. Tell them what you told me.”

Jake turned away. It was beginning to hurt to stare into Robbie’s eyes. It made his chest ache with longing, and that was something he promised himself wouldn’t happen. “You just don’t get it,” he said. “If I tell them, it will only confirm their suspicions about me.”

“What suspicions?”

“That I’m a fuck-up.”

“Well, aren’t you?”

Jake lifted his gaze to see Robbie smirking again. He had a twinkle in his eye—that stupid, punchable twinkle—and Jake couldn’t help but smile.

“I know you’re trying to get me to relate to you,” Robbie continued, growing more serious again, “but your parents are nothing like mine. They’re not even in the same realm. I won’t tell you to appreciate them more, because obviously yourrelationship with them is complicated, but it’s obvious to me at least that they only want the best for you.”

Jake nodded slowly. “Yeah, maybe you’re right.” He shifted closer to Robbie, the overwhelming urge to rest his head on the man’s shoulder making his muscles twitch. He was dangerously close to making a mistake he could never walk back. “I should go,” he said suddenly. “I need to get back home and make sure everything’s cleaned up before Aunt Isabel gets back from her dinner.”

He made his way to the door, pausing to let Robbie unlock it for him, and then he pushed it open and let the cool, late summer breeze breathe life back into him.

He had to stay away from Robbie until he could get himself back under control. They were both getting too close to doing something they couldn’t afford to repeat, and Jake would not let it get that far if it was the last thing he did.

15

THE ONE AND DONE RULE

The next morning, the first day of fall, Isabel met Jake in the kitchen. For the first time since he’d arrived there, Jake was up before his aunt. He’d had a restless night again, and it didn’t make sense to lie in bed for hours knowing full well he wouldn’t be able to fall back asleep.

“Good morning,” Isabel said, clearly surprised when she walked in.

“Morning, Aunt Isabel.” Jake got a mug from the cabinet and poured some coffee into it for her.

“You’re up early.”

“I guess so.”

“Is everything all right? You’ve been quieter lately, and now… this.” She sat down at the table, gesturing for Jake to sit, too.

“Oh, yeah, I’m fine,” Jake said. “Just bored, but you already know that.”

“I thought you were getting out and doing more stuff.”

“Sure, but there’s only so much you can do around here.”

“And what about Robbie? It seems like you’ve been spending more time with him outside of the beach lately.”