Page 94 of Fish Out of Water

“Someone I dated for a little while—a couple of years. We ended up working at the same place, and when we broke up, it caused a lot of interpersonal problems. It was a nasty breakup. I thought we’d be together for a lot longer. I…”

“You loved him.”

“I thought I did.” Jake sighed. “As it turns out, I have no idea what love actually is. Or I didn’t back then, anyway. I just couldn’t stand being around him any longer at that point, so Ileft, but saying I quit my job because of an ex makes me sound like a fucking fool.”

“You told me you never dated someone long-term.”

Jake looked down at the wooden counter. “I lied. I really didn’t wanna talk about that time in my life, and it was just easier to leave Ethan out of the picture. I’m sorry, Robbie. I should’ve told you.”

Robbie shrugged. “You had no obligation to. It wouldn’t have changed how I see you now, if that’s what you’re worried about.”

“It changes the fact that I can and do date with a future in mind.”

“Not me, though.”

“Not in the beginning.” Jake swallowed hard. “Robbie…”

“I’m going to tell my parents that I’m moving away from Eventide,” Robbie said suddenly. “Now that they’ve decided the fate of this place, I’m going to give the house back to their care, and if they cut me out of their will, so be it. I need to get away from here. It’s eating my soul to stay.”

“What about the town? It needs you.”

“It will survive. I can’t do this all on my own anymore.”

“Won’t you miss it, though?” Jake asked.

“Of course I will.” Robbie closed his eyes, squeezing his eyelids shut tight. “I don’t want to go, and maybe I’ll come back when my parents are gone. But I need a change, Jake. I need it as much as you did a few months back.”

Jake didn’t speak. He couldn’t. He was waiting for it: the question to which he had finally determined his answer.

“Will you come with me?”

Jake glanced back. Alex peeked her head out from behind a bookshelf, then quickly walked to the other side of the store, heels clicking on the floor.

“Yes,” he said. “I think I can manage that. But you need to face your family first. You need to tell them the truth. No more secrets, Robbie.”

“I will—tonight.”

“Really?”

Robbie nodded. “Last night after I went home, I decided I’d had enough and emailed them to set up a time to meet. They’re coming over in the evening. You can come too if you want.”

“I have to drive Alex back to the train station, but I can come over after that.”

“I would appreciate it.” Robbie smiled nervously. “I hope this is the right thing to do.”

“It is,” Jake said. He stretched his hand across the counter, taking Robbie’s pale fingers in his own. His hand was cold and stiff, and he almost pulled away before relaxing as Jake ran his thumb over his knuckles.

“I want this to work,” Robbie said. “I’ll do anything to make it work.”

“I hope that’s true, because I’m not nearly as convinced as you and everyone else that this is for the best.” Even as he said it, Jake regretted it. Robbie’s face fell, all the confidence Jake had given him over the past few minutes draining like a punctured oil drum. “But,” he said quickly, “you have to leave no matter what. It’ll kill you to stay here for the next forty or fifty years.”

“I want to be with you,” Robbie said, his voice now barely above a whisper. “It will kill me to not be with you.”

“You’d manage,” Jake insisted. “You’re much stronger than I am.” He tried to smile. “You lived without me for all of your life up until earlier this year, and even then you didn’t like me for a while.”

“I always liked you,” Robbie said. “You intrigued me. You still do. I want this to work out, Jake.Please.”

Jake let Robbie’s hand go as he backed away from the counter. Alex was approaching with a hefty stack of books, and the desperation in Robbie’s eyes was starting to make his heart ache. He wished he could be certain that Robbie wasn’t acting out in panic. He wished he could be certain that he loved Robbie as much as Robbie seemed to love him. He wished he could close his eyes and wake up back in his old apartment, his alarm ringing for the job he left entirely voluntarily to get away from a cowardly little man who continued to haunt him.