Page 46 of The Tenets of Man

I laugh, belatedly realizing I haven’t truly laughed in what feels like forever. The feeling is almost foreign, but incredibly freeing.

“Let’s go,Della.”

I dip my chin to hide my smile and follow Bec. We find a creek that leads us to a large pond where we bathe in the fresh water; I wash my hair and scrub my skin raw, shaking from the cold, but my chattering teeth are worth it to feel clean for the first time in days. We dress in the clothes we brought and Bec shows me how to wash the dirty ones we were wearing. It’s far from ideal, and I definitely missthe convenience of a washing machine, but at least I’ll have a spare change of clothes that are clean.

On our way back to the new camp, damp clothes in our arms, I try to get to know Bec more. “So, do you have a husband?”

Bec starts coughing violently. I pat her on the back a few times until she recovers and catches her breath.“No.”

“Oh,” I say. “Is no one here married?”

Bec shrugs. “Not really.”

I clear my throat. “What about Maverick? You two seem close.”

Bec makes a face of distaste. “Gross. Mav’s like my brother.”

For indiscernible reasons, hearing they’re not romantically involved fills me with relief. Truthfully, now that I think about it, I’ve been in Maverick’s tent—slept in his bed—and there were no signs of anyone else living there. He must not be married… but why wouldn’t he correct me when I said something when we first met? “Ah.”

“Besides,” Bec interrupts my thoughts. “I’m pan.”

My brows furrow. “Pan?”

“Pansexual.”

“I’m sorry,” I wince. “I’m not familiar with that term.”

Bec gives me a patient smile. “It means I don’t really care about gender. I love people for who they are, regardless of how they identify.”

My eyes widen as I process what she’s saying. “You’regay?” I whisper. Not that there’s anyone else around to hear us. No one is gayin New Athens, not openly anyway. It’s forbidden since non-heterosexual pairings can’t result in children.

She laughs. “I mean, I definitely prefer female companionship these days.” The smile melts off her face. “My time in New Athens didn’t exactly improve my disdain for the majority of the male population.”

I nod, because what is there to say? What she experienced in New Athens washorrible, even if I’m still trying to reconcile my own experiences with those of the people here. But honestly, after everything she’s been through, she deserves to be happy. Why should I care if that happiness is found with another woman?

“So, do you have a girlfriend, then?”

Bec’s cheeks flush a pretty shade of mauve and she clears her throat. “Um, no.”

A slow smile creeps over my face. “But there is someone you like, isn’t there?”

The pink on her face deepens. “It doesn’t matter.”

I decide to stop teasing. I don’t want to make her uncomfortable and lose one of the only people here who tolerates my presence. “Well, if you ever want to talk about her, I’m here.”

She smiles. “Ya know, city girl… you’re not that bad.”

I roll my eyes. “What a glowing endorsement of my company.”

Bec snorts. “What about you?”

“What about me, what?”

“You have a husband.”

“Yes,” I say, wondering where this line of questioning is headed.

“Who you care about.”