Page 152 of Rest In Knotty Pieces

“It has to be Merle,” Raven says suddenly. “She’s the only one they will trust completely and without question.”

Merle starts to cry, which sets Dove off. I roll my eyes and turn away, frustrated with the incessant noise.

But then, I am an alter who was born of helplessness and rage.

I created this space. It took a long time and learning and listening to the others to create it, but I have excellent visualization skills, and it just sort of became the one place we can really see each other.

It’s the deepest part of our minds, hidden where no one can reach it, a million tonnes of mind and rock enclosing the space, like our mind is a castle, and this is the hidden room deep in the belly of it. There are no doors, no windows. Just the dark, the thrones, and us under the candlelight.

The floor is wet, and I can hear dripping, but I can feel the warmth from the candles, too. This room is as real to me as the rest of the world is. It means everything because it’s our place. Where I can see them, where they can see me. We might drive each other insane, but we are closer than family.

“What’s going to happen when we go into heat?”

My elbow slips off my armrest.

“I beg your fucking pardon?” I shriek.

Raven pouts prettily. I want to smack her in the head.

“What happens when you all go into heat? Whose heat will it be? Do you have one each? Do you even have a heat? What if Jay has a heat or I do?”

“Of all that’s fucking holy, why would you ask that?” I shout at her.

I swear, I hear the darkness laugh.

"I dunno, it’s been bothering me.”

“Bothering you?” I stand up and let out an insane scream that echoes.

She just watches me with an amused twist of her lips.

“We will sort it out later,” Kestrel says with a wary look at me. “Let’s focus on the problem at hand.”

“Which is who is betraying our alphas?” Jay snarls. “And you all think poor Merle should do it.”

I want to blame Raven, but I do think she’s right. Merle is the best choice.

“Yes, we do,” Kestrel says calmly. “They trust her. They will follow her blindly.”

“But where?”

“Anywhere, so long as it’s nowhere near-” Raven pauses, standing up and looking around. “Someone is coming.”

Raven crosses to Merle and grabs her shoulders. “You can do this, sweetheart. You take them where they are safe. So they can live another day. We’re all relying on you.”

I can see the terror in her eyes.

“Keep them safe, Merle. If we’re going to have a life. If we are going to live, we’re going to need all of them.”

Merle looks terrified. I don’t think she can do this.

Jay cocks his head to the side, listening intently.

“Merle?” The voice is male and coming from a long way away.

Merle shudders, her eyes rolling.

“We will be with you every single step of the way,” I whisper.