Page 66 of Rest In Knotty Pieces

I think if I was to look at his face, this, whatever this is, would end. The honesty that is pouring out of him would dry up, and the words would vanish like they’ve been snatched by the wind.

“When I leave, you will be okay with them.”

That idea terrifies me. I tighten my arms around him and try to ignore the tart panic in my scent.

He pats my back.

“You will all live happily ever after,” he’s resigned.

Panic races up my throat, and I turn to him, throwing myself into his arms, wrapping myself around him.

He is merciless as he pulls my arms loose from his neck, then sets me on the ground, stands up, and disappears into the dark. I can’t look away from him. There aren’t words to tell him how I feel. That watching him disappear into the dark is like watching the lights go out in the world.

That watching him leave is like falling into a world of nightmares.

Come back, I think desperately.

But I haven’t spoken in so long, and words don’t come. He doesn’t hear me, and he doesn’t come back.

Merle

The next day, everyone acts as if nothing happened; everyone talks quietly as they get ready. It’s peaceful. No one pressures me to speak or asks what happened last night. King shadows me, and when we are ready, he holds out his hand. Everything is normal.

And I feel like they are all looking at me, pointing, laughing.

“Focus!” King murmurs and jiggles his hand.

I groan and take his hand.

He smiles wider and swings me up onto his back.

Today isn’t as fast, but it’s harder terrain, and we have to stop a few times to hang from ropes and descend the sides of cliffs. It’s appalling. I hate every single minute of it.

When I look back, I realise we’ve crossed a whole freaking mountain, and it’s pretty, but this feels suspiciously like running. Even though everyone is happy and cheerful. No one is telling me anything.

Most of me is relieved and happy to be in a bubble, but a part of me is unhappy and is growing more and more uneasy.

Pack Prince, Meg, and Desi are keeping their distance today, leaving me to wander with just my six babysitters. My wanders take me to a place where I stand in a meadow with the greenest grass. It’s knee high and keeps changing directionin the wind. Blaze follows me out into the middle. He closes his eyes and spreads his arms wide.

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” he murmurs.

I stare up at him, thinking idly thatyes, he is.

I have so many questions, but there’s only one I should ask.

Why are we running?

Somehow, that question is still locked behind my teeth, and I can’t bring myself to poison the air with it. Even if I could speak. I wouldn’t be able to ask.

He pulls out his dao, pointing it past me, his eyes closed. When he moves, I step with him, dancing and staying just ahead of his blade and how it moves.

I find myself laughing as I spin in, pressing my back against his chest. His arm wraps around me, holding me tight.

“You are very elegant when you are dancing with my dao.”

It’s you who is elegant. It’s you who are magic,I think back at him.

He spins me until we’re standing two feet apart. I want to step back into his space. He keeps his sword pointed down and away from me.