Page 116 of The Sound of Him

“Right. So, I live in Boston, like you… sort of do. Which is nowhere near here. So, obviously, I rented from the airport. A truck, if you’re curious. Very safe. I even drove the speed limit.”

“Well, damn.”

“Well, damn,” he echoes.

I watch him for a second before getting the courage to ask, “Did it help?”

He glances over his shoulder at me on his way to the fridge. “Did what help? Renting the truck? Yeah, pretty helpful, considering-”

“The mission,” I correct. “Did it help you feel better about… things? Give you some closure?”

He reads a note that’s been left on the fridge door, words I can’t make out from how far away I am. He makes a noise of disapproval before opening the door and leaning in.

“Keaton?”

He doesn’t turn to look at me. “Hm?”

“Keaton,” I say again, my tone turning serious.

He stares into the fridge a moment longer before closing the door and turning to me. The guilt on his face makes it pretty fucking clear what he’s about to say. Knowing ahead of time doesn’t make it land any better when he admits, “I think I made it worse.”

“Keaton.”

“I know, okay? I know. I’m sorry. I’m working on it. I’ll figure it out.”

I turn away from him, eyeing the room. I don’t want to set up surveillance in here unless it’s requested by Carter and Casey, but it’s good to know where I’d put it if I wanted to. It’s also good to not let Keaton see my expression. To see the way panic is starting to prickle through my veins.

It was one thing for me to admit to Kellan that I care about these guys. It’s another for him to find outKeatondoes.

It’s not like Keaton has never had friends before. Kellan actively encouraged him to make friends. Whenever he’sstruggling, Kellan even encourages him to reach out to them. He tells him to go out and hit the North End or catch a Sox game.

Friends aren’t the problem. The problem is that this group is quickly becoming afamily, the kind of family you don’t walk away from if you can help it, and Kellan won’t like that. He won’t like it for me, when he realizes I’m in that deep, and he’ll despise it for Keaton.

That’s dangerous.

Sometimes I forget how dangerous Kellan can be. I think sometimes Keaton does too.

“He was really fucked up,” Keaton says to my back. “Travis, I mean, after we took out Mica. I don’t know what happened. I was taking care of a survivor we found with him, but Mica must have said something or done something because Travis was - I don’t even know how to describe it. It was like someone flipped his light switch off. I tried to get him to talk to me again, but it didn’t go well. At all.”

“Yeah, he was still like that when he showed up at the house. I have a feeling whatever happened had to do with Carter and pretty sure that had something to do with him and Casey deciding to leave.”

He sighs heavily. “You think they’re ready?”

“No.” I walk over to the fridge to read the note from before. It’s about upcoming repairs. “Did Kellan tell you he’s going to let them come and go?”

“Yeah. If I hadn’t been sitting, I probably would have fell right on my ass. How’d you pull that off?”

I hesitate, taking the time to eye him.Did Kellan not tell him about the deal? Am I going to get away with not talking about my own shit?

Keaton raises an eyebrow at me. “Other than the part where you have to talk to me and possibly Adam.”

Damn. He knows me too well.

“I-” I huff a laugh, shaking my head. “Actually, I told him that I care about them. That they’reimportant. Then I told him I was scared of him killing them.”

Now both of Keaton’s eyebrows are up, raised just about as high as they can go. “You told himthatand he approved your request?”

I laugh again, feeling just as incredulous about it as he sounds. “I know, I was pretty fucking surprised.”