Page 122 of The Sound of Him

I can feel my face go hot, though I’m not exactly sure why.

“I like Ace,” he says - which is shocking enough for me to snap my head up and look him in the eye. Bryce doesn’t like the operatives. Bryce hates them, mostly. Maison has a little wiggle room, but not much. He hates the doctors. He hates the guards outside.

But helikesAce?

He must see the question on my face because he shrugs. “I’ve vetted him. He’s passed every test and then some.”

Oh.

I wonder what the tests were.

I wonder what the‘then some’is.

He reaches out and taps the edge of the sticky note. He’s smiling. “Like he said, no pressure. We don’t have to talk about it. Not the food or the juice or Ace or anything else. Just don’t forget that I’m here. I’malwayshere. Sounds like maybe he is too. Don’t forget that, alright?”

I rub my thumb over the- Aon the note and nod.

He squeezes my shoulder and backs away, leaving me in the open doorway between the bathroom and bedroom. “Hope you have a better day.”

I watch him leave, thinking maybe I will.

Maybe I will.

Ace smiles when he answers his office door. “My dude, I took a 10 hour nap and feel like a whole new person. I think this calls for a night of throwbacks, you know? I’m thinking of the 90s. How do you feel about 90s music? You know, boy bands? Some Britney? TLC?”

I’m not given a chance to answer. I rarely am, whenever I first arrive. At first I thought it was nerves. Maybe it was, maybe it still is, but I think it’s also like he bottles up everything he wants to say inside himself until he gets the chance to tell me all of it.

I like the thought of that.

I like the thought that he’s willing to stockpile for me.

“You know, in this economy, any guy hanging out on the passenger side of his best friend’s ride is just making smart decisions. Maybe that’s controversial. I’m just saying, it’s a thought to consider. Should we start off strong or work our way up? I think MMMbop would be a good choice. Or - wait, no - fuck no. What am I thinking? It’s gotta be Spice Girls. Unless we’re working our way up? What do you think? Up? Down? All around?”

He’s at the coffee table now, reaching down to grab something.

“Look, I got new snacks. I went a little crazy at the gas station by Carter and Casey’s new place. Bought way too much shit. In my defense, I was starving and tired. Oh, man - look at these. These are the fuckingbest. I’ve never even seen anything like it. It’s like 5 feet of deliciousness, you know? I already had one and there are two more, if you want to try. No pressure. I know sour isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. They had muffins, too. Why don’t we ever have muffins here? Does Nolan only cook? Someone should get Nolan to try to bake. I amso downfor more muffins in our life, you know? They’re all nut free. The muffins, I mean. The candy, too. I checked. Double-checked, actually.”

My brain stutters.

Nut free.

I checked.

Double-checked, actually.

Ace knows.

Heknows.

What else does he know?

Does he know about the party? Does he know how bad the allergy is? Does he know part of why I can’t eat things is because I’m paranoid they’ll have nuts in them? Does he knowthe rest of why I can’t eat things is because of that phantom reaction?

Does he know about the juice earlier? Does he know I got sick?

Does he know I’m not real, I’m just a ghost? Does he know I’m already d-

“-berry, chocolate chip, and - oh man - these are strawberry cheesecake, which I don’t even know how you make into a muffin, but whatever. Here, this is for you.”