Page 38 of Ballad of Sea and Sky

“What?” I asked with a laugh. “No.”

“I have a scar,” she pointed out, gesturing to her eyepatch and the faint edges of the scar visible beneath. “Does that not make me weak?”

“No,” I repeated, feeling a little awkward, but too curious not to ask. “How did you lose your eye?”

“Pricklyandimpertinent,“ Zephyr laughed. “I can see why he likes you.”

When I didn’t respond to this comment, Zephyr sighed. “Years ago, I got into a bit of a brawl with a human slaver in one of the mortal cities to the south,” she explained, gesturing to her missing eye. “This was the consequence. I cover it because it distracts the crew, but I don’t hide my face from them. I wear this like a badge of honor, received while defending those weaker than myself.”

“That’s very brave,” I said quietly. For such a petite female, Zephyr was clearly a force to be reckoned with.

“And you,” she said, taking the bag from me and resealing it before pushing it back into my hands, “should do the same.”

“With my lungs?” I scoffed, incredulous that she would make such a comparison. “I did nothing noble for them, I’m afraid, other than being cursed at birth.”

“But you survive,” she argued. “Every day you choose to go on, not give up and lie around and feel sorry for yourself. Illness and injury are not a cause for shame, Marina. It’s what you doafterthat determines your worth.”

I pursed my lips, struggling to believe this.

“Think what you want, anyway,” Zephyr added with a wave of her hand as she turned back to the ocean. “Cas is sending hot water to your cabin shortly.”

“His cabin,” I corrected, sighing as I clutched the bag of tea and looked back out at the water, now inky black as stars began to dot the sky. “As he constantly reminds me.”

Zephyr clicked her tongue, touching a finger to the pearl comb as if she knew who had given it to me. “Be careful with him, Marina,” she cautioned, giving me a meaningful look. “Cas doesn’t do casual. He falls hard and fast, and he’s fiercely loyal.”

“I’m not doing anything with him!” I protested, rounding on the first mate who looked the opposite of chastised. “And I don’twantanything to do with him. I’m betrothed.”

“As you say,” she said, nodding once, a slight frown marring her expression. “I suppose you’ll be gone soon anyway.” She sighed, sounding more wistful about this than I would have expected.

I laughed, despite myself. “Will you not be happy to finally offload me and get to the business of your negotiations?” I asked. “I rather thought I was a burden.” I gestured to the borrowed clothes, expecting Zephyr to grin.

She didn’t.

“I’m more worried about what happens next,” she confessed, looking out over the sea. With a jolt, the ship began to move, pulling into the bay and away from Nordhavn. “This plan is our last hope. If it fails…”

She trailed off, unable or unwilling to complete the thought. I felt another stab of guilt, knowing full well that it wouldn’t matter what I said. My father and Vitulus would not budge, and Caspian was likely to be captured, if not killed outright. The thought chilled me.

“You should convince him not to be the one to deliver me,” I said fervently, turning to Zephyr with a new bolt of panic. “My father will kill him, and I won’t be able to stop him.”

“AndIwon’t be able to convince Cas not to try,“ Zephyr said, gnawing at her lip with worry. “Maybe we can truss you up in a way that will mean Cas can escape if things go badly. With your permission, of course.”

I choked out another laugh. “You sirens are strange birds indeed,” I said, giving Zephyr a sardonic look. “First you kidnap me for ransom, and now you want me to play act on your behalf.”

Zephyr smiled faintly, patting me on the shoulder. “I think you might be just as strange as we are, Marina.” She turned to walk away, shouting back over her shoulder, “Because I can see that you’re considering it.”

I rolled my eyes, but a twist in my gut told me she was right. I would do it, not because I had any particular loyalty to Caspian, but because I didn’t want to see anyone die. And if I were being honest, the idea of living in a place like Nordhavn, of blending our people in peace, rather than war, of having the freedom I had been granted today, was very appealing. And I was selfish. I wanted that desperately.

It had nothing to do with Caspian at all, I thought as I returned to his room to await the promised hot water for tea.

Nothing at all.

I was startled to find Caspian already in the room, a silver kettle steaming gently on the round table as he reclined on the bed in an attitude of complete exhaustion. He was wearing loose trousers, his boots were gone, and the shoulder armor had been dumped unceremoniously on the armchair.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, unsure what to do as I leaned against the door for support. He was like a beautiful tragic statue, rather like the one I’d seen in the sea caves, and my heart gave an uncomfortable lurch at his presence.

“This is my room,” Caspian pointed out, his eyes closed as he rested his head on a folded arm. “In case you’ve forgotten.”

I coughed, irritation flaring at his seeming indifference to me, which was ridiculous. I wanted indifference.