Page 104 of The Village Inn of Secret Dream

‘No refunds or returns, I’m afraid,’ said Dodgy Del quickly.

‘What’s wrong with it?’ asked Josh.

‘One soft nudge with your little finger and every last pine needle is going to drop to the floor,’ said Pete, nodding at the nearby offending tree.

They all turned to look at the decorated tree, which was almost bare as it had lost so many pine needles over the past week.

‘It’ll be lucky to make it to Christmas without ending up on the compost heap,’ said Pete.

‘Just unlucky I reckon,’ said Del. ‘I’ve had no other complaints from anyone else.’

‘That’s because you never answer your phone,’ said Tom.

‘This is a very unfestive conversation,’ said Del. ‘And I’d like to move it along to far more Christmassy matters. Such as donkeys and how you can help out with them.’

They all stared at him before Tom finally spoke up.

‘Donkeys?’ he asked, somewhat incredulously.

Del nodded. ‘The vicar wanted one for the nativity service on Sunday. I think she meant a toy one but, of course, I’ve managed to find her a real one. Or rather two for the price of one because donkeys get lonely and Ethel wouldn’t be separated from Fred.’

‘How am I going to be able to help out with your donkeys?’ asked Pete. ‘We’re an inn, not a zoo.’

‘Depends on the clientele some nights,’ murmured Tom.

‘Well,’ said Del. ‘The trouble is that Ethel and Fred just need a bit of shelter for the Christmas fete and before we stroll to the church on Sunday afternoon. So I was wondering if they could maybe camp out in your backyard. As it’s not in use due to being winter, that is.’

Pete stared at him. ‘You want to put a couple of donkeys in our garden?’ he said in disbelief.

‘That’s about the sum of it, I reckon,’ said Del with a nod.

Pete looked at Josh, who was grinning at him.

‘Never a dull moment around here,’ said his big brother.

‘But it’s freezing cold at night,’ said Tom, frowning. ‘Shouldn’t they be in a barn or something?’

‘Well, Angie’s got that old summer house around the back,’ said Del. ‘I reckoned that would do the job for a couple of nights.’

Pete dragged a hand through his hair, for once quite at a loss as to what to say.

‘Excellent,’ said Del, taking his silence as confirmation of the deal. ‘I’ll ring the vicar. She’ll be dead chuffed that you’re helping out.’

Before Pete could protest, Del had disappeared off his stool and out of the inn.

Pete looked at Josh and Tom. ‘Did I just imagine that conversation?’ he said, still somewhat flabbergasted.

‘I’m afraid not,’ said Tom.

‘Nice to know that we’re not the only ones to suffer at the hands of one of Del’s schemes,’ said Josh. ‘Maybe you could make a bit of extra money by charging some families to come and pet the donkeys.’

Pete blew out a sigh. ‘If they don’t eat everything in sight first.’ He had another thought. ‘Angie’s prize garden pots,’ he said, looking in them in horror. ‘You know what she’s like about her gardening.’

Josh nodded. ‘She’s always been a keen gardener.’

‘And I must say that her hanging baskets always look pretty good,’ added Tom.

‘Not sure how good they’re going to look once Ethel and Fred have finished with them,’ said Josh, raising an eyebrow at his brother.