Page 88 of Starry Nights over Dragonfly Lake

‘No!’ spluttered Beth, blushing. ‘It was amazing but…’

‘But?’ prompted Hannah.

Beth sat still, unable to get the words out, even to her best friends.

‘I’ll kill him if he’s hurt you,’ said Ella, scowling.

Beth shook her head. ‘He’s my rebound guy, remember? He can’t possibly hurt me because that would mean I care for him and I don’t. I really don’t.’ Her voice cracked on the last word and tears began to fall down her cheeks, betraying her need to try and hold it together. ‘Just ignore me,’ she told them, brushing her wet face with her hand.

‘Ignore you when you’re crying and upset?’ asked Lily. ‘Absolutely not.’

‘It’s all my fault,’ said Beth, with a sniff. ‘It was all fun and fake and stuff. We said we weren’t going to get involved. But I broke the rules of rebound dating. I fell in love with him.’

‘Oh, honey,’ said Ella, shaking her head. ‘A man like that doesn’t love anyone if he doesn’t even love himself.’

Beth frowned. ‘Actually, I think he now loves Walter and the rest of the family as well. He’s changed.’ She looked at Ella. ‘So you’re wrong about that. He just doesn’t trust people. I can’t give you all the details because it’s personal but life dealt him a rotten card in the beginning. He just automatically protects himself from evergetting hurt again.’

‘But you wouldn’t hurt him,’ said Hannah.

‘I know.’ Beth sighed. ‘But he needs his security. He’s been very honest with me about not wanting a long-term relationship. He would never mislead me the way Jeremy did. He’s not a liar.’

‘But he should have told you all of this before you got involved,’ said Lily, shaking her head in dismay.

‘He did but I didn’t listen,’ replied Beth.

Her best friends all sighed at the same time.

‘Do you regret it?’ asked Hannah. ‘Getting involved with him, I mean.’

‘No. It’s been the most wonderful time of my life being with him,’ said Beth. ‘He’s taught me so much about myself including how to be more realistic about who I might end up with. About my future relationships. And for that, I’m truly grateful to him.’

The trouble was, she knew deep down that any future relationships were doomed. Nobody would ever match up to Noah and how could they? He felt like the other half of her.

‘Does he know how you feel?’ asked Lily.

‘Absolutely not. That would be utterly mortifying. We made a promise to not commit to each other and I’m sticking to that.’ Beth sighed. ‘The sad thing is that anyone else he dates won’t know what I know. They won’t know the kindness underneath that hard shell he’s built around himself. And he’ll be alone again and that’s not fair. He deserves not to be alone. He deserves to be loved.’ Her voice caught again and she took a sip of the hot chocolate which Hannah had pushed across the table towards her.

‘Talk to him,’ urged Hannah.

Beth shook her head. ‘I can’t. It’s for the best that we just leave it and move on. And it’s important that I must move on. So on that subject, I’m taking the job, by the way. The cruise ship in Antarctica.’

Her friends looked shocked. ‘You are?’ they chorused.

‘You’re leaving?’ said Hannah, biting her lip.

‘They’ve just emailed me back,’ Beth told them, glancing at her phone. ‘They’re really keen for me to get going. And as the meteor shower finishes tonight, it looks like if I set off tomorrow then I’ll be just in time for one of the many flights and boats that it’ll take to get me there.’

‘You’re leaving that soon?’ asked Ella, aghast.

‘You can’t leave yet,’ said Lily, looking upset.

They were all close to tears.

‘I have to,’ replied Beth. ‘This is his family home, not mine. He has a family of his own now and that’s so much more important than what I can give him.’

‘Are you sure about that?’ asked Lily.

‘Why can’t he have both?’ added Ella.