Page 107 of A Silence So Divine

Between one breath and the next, the rough surface of his palm slips to my jaw and his lips are on mine.

My heart stutters, my limbs grow taut. His mouth is warm, and tastes exactly how he smells. Warm, spicy, a hint of salt. I want to chase the flavor, but I’m too afraid to move.

The pressure of his hand on me is gentle, yet firm, holding me exactly where he wants me. There’s no telling how long his lips stay on mine, how long I’m stuck in the paralysis of my daze.

The warmth of his breath is replaced by the breeze. That’s all it takes for my brain to catch up with my body.

Before he gets too far, I release my blanket and close the space once more. A sigh sounds, and I’m unsure if it’s come from me, him, or the two of us together. My palms hover over his shoulders, unsure whether or not to touch him. He’s sure in his hands, though, and slides one into my hair. The feel of blunt nails against my scalp sends sparks down my spine.

A lightness I’ve never known washes over me. If it weren’t for his hands on me, I’m sure I would float away. I’ve never,never, known pleasure like this.

Our lips are moving. The pressure is clumsy and inconsistent, but I don’t have the mind to feel insecure. If anything, I’m as emboldened as ever, and I take this newfound confidence to grip his shoulders.

A brush of silky moisture against my bottom lip shoots a tremor throughout my body. With the blanket falling to my waist, I rise onto my knees and push closer to him. He meets me in the middle, one hand traveling down my waist to grip the shirt at my hip.

This is how it can feel. I never knew.

You know the end.

The thought throws me off balance, and I wrench myself back. His lips are parted and damp, eyes half lidded, breaths stuttered. The taste of him on my tongue is replaced by that of betrayal.

“I’m going to die,”I sign frantically.

Not how I planned on telling him, but there it is.

It takes a moment for his mind to catch up, but when it does, he falls back on his haunches and narrows his eyes. The mood has been thoroughly decimated.

“What?”

Our knees are the only things touching now, and I regret pulling away. That could very well be the last kiss I ever have. After I tell him this, I wouldn’t blame him for never wanting me again.

“I read my mom’s journal. She said that at the end of this, I die.”

The wind picks up, tousling the hair around the shell of his ear. Goosebumps rise on my arms, but I leave the blanket in a heap beside me.

“Eden…” He’s exasperated. Bringing a hand to his face, he scrubs at his jaw. My lips tremble.

“I know Veda says your mom sacrificed herself for you, but it was a coincidence, alright? You don’t have to die to protect anyone.” His eyes are imploring, his shoulders slumped in defeat.

“But she knows—”

“Nobody can know that.”

“She must have seen it.”

“Then she’s wrong.”

Frustration mounts, and for the first time since I was a child, I don’t attempt to tamp it down. I let it flow.

“She was right about everything else,”I insist, my movements getting choppier with each fury fueled word. It’s my life that’s ending, not his. Who is he to tell me?

Cecil shakes his head dismissively, flicking grains of sand off the front of his shirt.

“It’s why I was born. It’s my purpose—”

“For fuck’s sake, will you stop with that!?”His bellow carries on the wind, and I instinctively shrink. The moment I do, his mouth clamps shut and his nostrils flare with a steadying inhale. His stern expression falters and he reaches for me, but I lean back. His hand falls to the towel beneath us.

His jaw twitches like he’s testing out words on his tongue before he speaks them. There’s a lapse of tense silence, and I can’t take another moment of it. I don’t want to be angry with him, so maybe I’ll be angry alone.