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“I asked what you were doing?” she asked again, unaware of my internal struggles.
I shook my head slightly and cleared my throat. “Uh, just sitting here, people watching,” I offered with a slight smile.
She gracefully tumbled into the stool next to me and faced the mingling crowd. “It’s busy tonight,” she said.
“Is it?” I asked, unable to think of anything else.
Suddenly, I felt severely depressed. I wished to tear myself away from the magnificent person seated next to me. I glanced behind me at the bar shelves and wished I could snag the only premium bottle of liquor I was able to spot and hunker down in the bed of my truck with it.
“Yes, I haven’t seen this many people out in a long time. I’m guessing the season has got more than a few restless souls to come out of hiding.” She turned and smiled at me, and I almost wished I could cleave out my eyes just so I didn’t have to subject myself to her glaringly pleasing face anymore.
I cleared my throat yet again and braced my Coke between my hands to steady them. “Uh, you look very pretty,” I purposely understated.
She looked down at herself as if she just remembered what she was wearing. “Oh, thank you so much,” she said.
dded his head but looked unsure, pissing me off further.
The highway was easier to navigate as there were lamps lighting up the way as well as a clearer path. The tension in the car eased to a tolerable level eventually and a conversation started between the three in the back. Ethan and I hadn’t even glanced each other’s direction since his stupid offer, and I could tell from his body language, rigid spine, crossed arms, that he did not like me.
“...and that!” Bridge said. I’d missed their entire start of conversation. Bridge whined a little. “I wish I had dressed up now too!”
“I am not dressed up, Bridget,” she laughed. “You’re just so used to seeing me in dingy ranch clothing, you now think it’s the norm, but it’s really not. I’m actually kind of a clotheshorse. I just have no occasion to wear them,” Cricket replied.
“How do you even get pieces like this around here?” Bridge asked, genuinely curious.
I glanced back in my rearview and couldn’t see anything, frustrating me to no end.
“I order them online, baby. There is no better invention than the Internet.”
I kept glancing back in my rearview at Cricket, hoping somehow her face would magically light up and I could stare at her.
“Do you have any hobbies?” Ethan asked me suddenly and I jumped. He sat coolly in his seat. No movement, not a single twitch or shift. “Nervous?” he asked, narrowing his eyes at me.
I swallowed. “What?”
“I said, do you have any hobbies?”
I collect money. Lots of it. “Not really. I was on the row team at Brown, but I wouldn’t call that a hobby,” I told him truthfully. “How about you?”
“Cricket’s my hobby,” he said possessively under his breath.
I looked over at him as he stared me down with a fierceness I had rarely seen in another man. I stared back as savagely as he eyed me, my jaw clenched and eyes narrowed. We stayed locked like that until he broke the contact, satisfied I understood what he meant, and I turned my attention back to the road. What he didn’t understand is that I wasn’t afraid to bruise his face or my knuckles. I’d never shied away from a fight. Ever.
I was notorious in high school as the guy you didn’t mess with because if you talked shit and acted like you wanted to fight, I’d give you the fight. It was easy to separate the talkers from the doers. And there were always more talkers than doers. I didn’t know Ethan well enough to know if he was one or the other, but it didn’t mean shit to me. I would throw down without a second thought. I wouldn’t hesitate. Because if there was one thing I couldn’t stand, it was people who tried to threaten bigger than they were willing to carry out. The only thing is, I thought Ethan was exactly the type of guy to follow through, not that I cared, like I said, I was willing, but I did care what Cricket would think. Very much.
The remaining drive to Kalispell consisted of Ethan and me seething at one another, Jonah riveted by Bridget, paying attention to nothing else, and the girls chatting, oblivious.
We parked in a gravel lot and my stomach fluttered thinking on Cricket, imagining her in something else other than jeans and chaps.
I turned off the engine and began to get out when Ethan stopped me. “I’ll get Cricket’s side.”
I nodded my answer and I rounded the back of the truck, passing Ethan and trying not to feel too disappointed that I wasn’t able to open her door for her. What are you doing? I asked myself. She’s not yours. She’s not yours! I felt so stupid and, frankly, I was appalled at myself. I’d kept trying to convince myself that I needed to be her friend and only her friend, but I wasn’t acting like it.
I promised myself that there would be no outward or inward thoughts toward Cricket that weren’t entirely friendly and nothing more. Yeah, good luck with that. I awkwardly stationed myself at the back of the bed, my hands stuck in the front pockets of my jeans, bunching my coat around the tops of my hips. The cold seeped through to the bone there, but I didn’t care, whatever distracted me. I briefly pulled my cap down a bit to hide my eyes, then stuck my hands back in my pockets. I stared at the ground and toed the snow outlining my boots. They’d stuck down into six inches’ worth. I kicked the mound around my toes and shook the remaining from my boots. I did this for no other reason than I knew I didn’t want to look at Cricket.
I looked up quickly toward the passenger side and was forced to watch Jonah exit the back, then hold the door and offer his hand to Bridget to help her out. Much as I hated to admit it, I was going to be the fifth freaking wheel in that night’s scenario. Despite what Jonah and Bridget defined their “friendship” as, I knew what was blossoming and felt powerless to stop it. I just wanted to guard my sister from pain. Pain I knew was coming. Pain that would make an already burdensome life more difficult, but sometimes you have to let live.
I stared hard at the ground when everyone gathered around me, then followed them, my eyes trained on their tracks.
