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“Cricket?” I asked after five M&M’s.
“Yeah?”
“Do you ever talk about your mom?”
She studied me. “Not really.”
“Cool.”
It was silent for seven more M&M’s.
“I was young when she died.”
“Sarah, right?” I asked, thinking on the first day I met Cricket Hunt.
She gazed at me, surprised. “Yeah. Sarah.”
I kept silent.
“I was seven, but I remember it like it was yesterday.”
“How sad. How old was she?”
“Twenty-four.”
“Too, too young.”
“Too.” She grabbed a handful of M&M’s. “She got sick when I was about five. For the longest time, I had no idea what was going on. Then, one day, she came to me and told me she would be in the hospital for a few days but she would be back and I would be with Grandma and that Grandma would bring me up to see her in two days.
“I cried and begged her not to go, but she convinced me she’d come back, so we marked my calendar for two days ahead and she promised me Grandma would take me to see her.”
My breathing got deeper, heavier, sadder.
“So, the next day I made a big X on the calendar when the day was done and the day after that, I woke very early and dressed in my Sunday dress and shoes. I packed a bag because I didn’t understand that she was actually in nearby Kalispell, and I waited very patiently for my Grandma to come upstairs so we could go visit Mama.
“But breakfast passed, lunch, and we were approaching dinner and I still hadn’t gone to see my mom. So I grabbed my suitcase and found my grandma’s room and knocked on her door.
“She said it was okay for me to come in, so I did, and when she saw my face she broke down crying. I had no idea what she was crying for, so I asked if she was okay. I asked if she was crying because we wouldn’t be able to visit Mama that day.”
“Oh my God,” I couldn’t help but breathe.
Cricket looked at me and gave me a half smile.
“Grandma said that we wouldn’t be visiting Mama and sat me down at the edge of her bed.” Cricket turned thoughtful. “I still remember the feel of the weight of my dress shoes as they dangled.” She shook her head to clear it. “She set my suitcase on the ground next to her knees and grabbed my face as she so often does, even still, and she said, ‘Cricket, I have something to tell you.’ I had no idea what she was saying. I had an idea of what death was, but I had no idea how permanent it was.
“I nodded that I understood, but after a few days, I started to feel sick without my mother, and I told my grandma that I was ready for her to be alive again, that I wanted to see her.”
“Cricket,” I said, turning on my side.
Tears cascaded down the sides of her face.
She turned on her hip and faced me. “Yes?”
“I am so sorry.”
ught about it. “Uh, I’ve got a new comforter Bridge just bought. Also, there’s an emergency kit that came with the truck. I think there’s a bag of peanut M&M’s.”
“You had me at M&M’s,” she said, making me smile.
