Page 74 of Ethan

“Naomi—”

“Goodnight, Ethan.”

She walked inside and he heard the door close behind her.

He sat there in the gathering dark, stared at the mountains, and thought that he’d handled that about as badly as a man could.

He woke to an empty bed.

Ethan lay there for a moment listening to the house. Quiet. He got up, pulled on his jeans, and walked to the kitchen.

She’d already gone. Her mug was rinsed and sitting on the counter, which was more than he deserved after last night.

He stood there looking at it for a moment, then pulled on his boots and headed for the barn.

The fence post outside Vulcan’s stall was empty. No thermos.

He noticed. He didn’t say anything about it to anyone, but he noticed and it sat with him all morning like a stone in his boot.

He saw her in the arena at seven thirty, already working Vader through the pattern, focused and quiet. She didn’t look toward the barn door when he passed. He watched from the office window and told himself to give her space.

He gave her space all morning.

By noon he couldn’t stand it anymore. He walked to the arena and stopped in the doorway.

She was working Vader through the pattern, focused and quiet. She didn’t look up when he came in even though he knew she’d heard him. She always heard him.

He waited until she brought Vader to a walk and rode toward the rail.

She stopped in front of him, looked down at him, and he looked up at her. Neither of them said anything for a moment.

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I overstepped.”

She was quiet for a beat. “Yes. You did.”

“I wasn’t trying to tell you what to do. I just—” He stopped. “I grew up with parents who would do anything for me. I can’t imagine not having that and I don’t understand what it cost you not to have it. You’re right about that.”

She looked at him for a long moment.

“She hurt me and that doesn’t just go away because she showed up with an apology,” Naomi said. “You understand that?”

“I do. I should have kept my mouth shut.”

Another silence.

“You were trying to help,” she said finally. Not quite forgiving him yet, but softer than the night before.

“I was.” He held her gaze. “I’ll do better.”

She looked at him for another moment, then nodded once and turned Vader back toward the pattern.

He stayed at the rail, watching her ride and thought that loving someone meant sometimes sitting with the hard parts of them without trying to fix it. He was still learning that.

****

Naomi didn’t tell Ethan she was going. She told herself it was because she didn’t want another opinion, another well-meaning piece of advice from someone who’d never spent a single day of his life wondering why his mother hadn’t wanted him. Onceher day was over, she grabbed her keys and drove to the motel without telling anyone where she was going.

Her mother answered the door on the second knock, and the surprise on her face gave way quickly to something that looked like relief.