Page 33 of The Secret Mate Society

"Try me," I said, stepping closer."I'm not as fragile as you think."Funny how I’d fed almost the same line to Jake the day before.

For a moment, I thought Calder might actually tell me whatever secret he was carrying.His mouth opened, closed, then opened again.But before he could speak, the first fat raindrops began to fall.

"Shit," he muttered, looking up at the darkening sky."We should get inside."

"No," I said firmly, ignoring the rain that was quickly picking up intensity."You’re not running away from this conversation again.Give me an answer."

The rain began in earnest then, soaking through my white t-shirt within seconds.Calder's dark hair was already plastered to his forehead, water dripping from his jaw.But neither of us moved.

"What do you want from me?"he asked, his voice barely audible over the sound of rain hitting the pavement.

"Honesty," I replied, having to raise my voice as the downpour intensified."Just tell me the truth, Calder.Stop hiding behind this straight guy act and tell me what you're really feeling."

He stared at me for a long moment, rain streaming down his face.I could see the war behind his eyes and I could tell it was eating him alive.Of course I understood what he was going through.Coming out was hard when the news was filled with politicians fighting every day about whether gay people should have the right to marry, to have kids, or to even exist.I already knew Calder didn’t have a family to answer to, but he still had friends, employees, and clients that saw him in a certain light.If he gave into his urges and tried something new, he could be risking it all.

I thought for sure that he’d walk away from me.His head turned side to side, trying to see if anyone was watching us.Just when I thought he was going to run, he locked his gaze on mine.Then, without warning, he closed the distance between us in two quick strides.His hands came up to frame my face, fingers threading through my wet hair.

"The truth?"he said, his face inches from mine."The truth is you're driving me fucking crazy."

And then his mouth was on mine.

His lips crashed against mine with a desperate hunger that took my breath away.For a split second, I froze in shock.Calder was actually kissing me.But then my body responded on instinct, melting into him as my hands found purchase under his soaked leather jacket, my fingers digging into his hips.

The rain pounded around us, cold and relentless, but all I could feel was the heat of his mouth, the impossible warmth of his body pressed against mine.His kiss was nothing like I'd imagined.It wasn’t tentative or questioning, but confident and demanding, like he'd been holding himself back for far too long.

When he finally pulled away, his breathing ragged, those light brown eyes were flecked with gold and something that looked almost like panic.

"Shit," he whispered, his hands still cradling my face."I shouldn't have done that."

"Why not?"I asked, my voice barely audible over the downpour.My heart was hammering so hard I was sure he could feel it.

Lightning flashed overhead, briefly illuminating his conflicted expression."Because now I don't think I can stop."

Before I could respond, his lips found mine again, more gently this time but no less intense.I felt myself being walked backward until my back pressed against the brick wall of the café.One of his hands moved to my waist, fingers digging into my hip with just enough pressure to make me gasp against his mouth.

The sound seemed to break something in him.He deepened the kiss, his tongue sliding against mine as his body pressed me harder into the wall.I could feel every hard plane of his chest, the solid strength of his thighs against mine.And there was no mistaking his rather impressive arousal, hot and insistent against my hip.

"Calder," I breathed when he finally broke the kiss to trail his lips along my jaw."We're in public."

He froze, his forehead dropping to rest against mine as reality seemed to crash back over him."Fuck," he muttered, pulling back slightly but not releasing me."I… I’m sorry."

The rain had soaked us both completely, my white t-shirt now practically transparent and clinging to my skin.Calder's eyes dropped to my chest, lingering for a moment before he forced his gaze back to my face.

"Want to get out of here?"I asked, trying to keep my voice light despite the fact that I wanted him to take me right there on the sidewalk.To make me his without regret.My jeans were so tight with arousal that it was almost painful.I’d never wanted anyone this bad before.

Something like fear flickered across his features."I...I don't know if that's a good idea."

The emotional whiplash was giving me vertigo."You just had me pinned to a wall with your tongue down my throat, and now you're backing off again?"

He ran a hand through his wet hair, sending droplets flying."I… I just need some time to think."

"Fine," I said, frustration building again as I pushed myself away from him.“Go think.Let me know when you’ve got it figured out.”

Thunder rumbled overhead as I walked away, stuffing my hands in my pockets, the cold rain running down my back and shoulders.And yet, despite the cold and the anger, my skin was flushed with desire and my cock was rock hard.Calder, despite all the warning bells going off in my head, had gotten under my skin.

What the hell was I gonna tell Jake?

Chapter15